Open Post: Hosted By Jennifer Lopez’ Next Album, Which Will Be An Ode To Ben Affleck Called “This Is Me… Now”
Those of us not **sotto voce** On The JLo, might have been fooled into thinking Jennifer Lopez was up to something nefarious and dark-sided last week, like running for president when her Instagram account went dark and all traces of Ben Affleck were removed from her grid. But real ones probably knew that Jen was just clearing up space for the surplus of LOVE that’s flooded her basement since reuniting with Ben, the first and last (diamonds crossed!) love of her life. According to People, on Friday, JLo broke her visual silence to announce the title and theme of her upcoming 9th studio album. This is me… Now, an album dedicated to Ben, is a follow-up to her 2002 album This is me… Then, also an album dedicated to Ben. In return, Ben has dedicated no less than 10 minutes a week to posing for photos and making contractually obligated TikTok appearances. If these two crazy kids have learned anything about love and relationships in the past two decades, it’s the importance of sharing the burden and loving with equal passion!
Here’s JLo’s announcement, complete with a track list and a wildly distracting nipple shadow (almost certainly Ben’s sole contribution to the marital mood board).
People reports that This is Me … Now is Jen’s “return to songwriting and producing,” and “chronicles the emotional, spiritual and psychological journey that she has taken over the past two decades.” And from the track listings here, it’s clear she dug deep. Then Jen would have scribbled the names of these songs with a pink highlighter in the margins of a Trapper Keeper and dotted all the “i“s with hearts. Now Jen probably typed them up using an iPad!
The 13 songs include the title track as well as various entries that allude to her relationship with the actor, including “Dear Ben pt. II” and “Midnight Trip to Vegas,” which references the couple’s first marriage ceremony in July.
The multihyphenate’s ninth studio album marks her return to writing and producing, and showcases “a vulnerability never” shown before, while merging her powerhouse vocals with both confessional songs and upbeat “celebrations of love,” the release said.
Wild to think that just one year ago we were watching the perpetually nuptially obsessed JLo marry Owen Wilson in the trailer for Marry Me and blowing the roof off with her dazzling vocals on that film’s breakout single On My Way (‘memba her?). But that was Then, this is Now, and JLo’s since married Ben IRL (twice!) and is about to blow the roof even further off with her dazzling vocals from that wedding’s breakout single, Can’t Get Enough. Now some might say the timing is all a little too perfect. But not even JLo can control everything. I’m sure she’s pissed that her movie Shotgun Wedding was delayed due to *checks notes* accusations of cannibalistic ideation, and won’t be coming out until January when she’s already transitioned from Blushing Bride to Wholesome Homemaker — IRL and **sotto voce** On The JLo.
Damn you, Armie Hammer. Damn you to hell!
Pic: Seth Browarnik/startraksphoto.co/Cover Images