Category: Princess Charlotte

King Charles III’s Big Day Featured Crowns, Joanna Lumley, And A Yawning Prince Louis

May 6, 2023 / Posted by:

If you’re a Brit, then I’m sure your vocal cords are sore (and not in a sexy way) from loudly chanting that oath of allegiance to King Charles III on his Coronation Day. Or your vocal cords are sore from loudly snoring while sleeping through King Chuck’s Corny because you don’t give one shit about it. Whatever the case, King Charles and Queen Camilla’s bloomers filled with panty pudding royale today as they were crowned during the scaled-back three-day Coronation event that is costing British taxpayers ONLY $125 million. King Charles and Queen Camilla’s crowning ceremony happened at Westminster Abbey today and featured a spotlight-stealing cameo from little Prince Louis and a quick appearance by Prince Harry, whose ass is already on a plane back to California for his son Prince Archie’s fourth birthday.

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Duchess Kate Shared A New Picture Of Princess Charlotte For Her 6th Birthday

May 3, 2021 / Posted by:

Unlike those rotten ingrates the Sussexes, SOME members of the royal family still have to work for a living. That means trotting out Britain’s HVC (highest value child) to have her picture taken on the occasion of her 6th birthday. Yes, Princess Charlotte is already 6! And thankfully for them, the future of the British monarchy is just as sweet and charming as can be. No temper tantrums, throwing of silver spoons across the room, or bitch slapping the servants from her! Sadly, the same can’t be said for her creepy great-uncle Andrew.

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Prince William And Duchess Kate Have Been Accused Of Breaking COVID Rules At A Christmas Event

December 22, 2020 / Posted by:

Fresh off from getting shit for their taxpayer-funded train tour during a pandemic and for keeping their faces mask-free during a red carpet photo-op with their entire family, Prince William and Duchess Kate are now getting head shakes and tsk-tsks over breaking one of Britain’s COVID rules. Britain’s COVID rules state that different households can get together but the group can not be made up of more than six humans. And on Sunday night, William, Kate, and their three children (7-year-old Prince George, 5-year-old Prince Charlotte, and 2-year-old Prince Louis) met up with P. Willy’s uncle, Prince Edward, and his wife Sophie, Countess of Wessex and their two children (17-year-old Lady Louise and 13-year-old James, Viscount Severn). Since I have a Ph.D. in math (read: I used a Little Professor once), I know that five plus four equals…. *counts on fingers* NINE, which is more than six, which means that they all broke the rules, which means the dungeon for them all!

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Prince Philip And The Queen Celebrate 73 Years Of Wedded Bliss

November 20, 2020 / Posted by:

According to People, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip celebrated their 73rd wedding anniversary “with a very special gift — a homemade card” from their great-grandchildren Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis. Not gonna lie, old Lizzy of London over there has had a rough year. So I’m not going to begrudge her a small celebration. Her Majesty THE QUEEN has had to stand by watching as her grandson defected from The Firm, her son was accused of appalling behavior, her family was portrayed as monsters (albeit kind of hot ones) on The Crown, and she was banished into quarantine with a skeleton crew of servants to service her skeleton of 73 years, Prince Philip. So lord knows she’s earned it. Well, maybe earned isn’t the right word here. She’s been sovereignly ordained it at any rate.

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Kensington Palace Put Out New Pictures Of Prince William For Father’s Day And His Birthday

June 21, 2020 / Posted by:

I don’t know why, but when I think of Father’s Day, Prince William is usually the last person who comes to mind. But I get it, he’s a father. And a royal. And it’s his birthday. So, I guess it makes sense that new photos of him frolicking with his three kids, looking totally natural––as though they do stuff like that every day––would be released today, of all days.

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Princess Charlotte Started Her First Day Of School

September 5, 2019 / Posted by:

This week, a whole lot of kids had to go back to school, and that included Prince George, who probably couldn’t help but wonder if a sweetly-worded letter to Great-Granny might get him an extra month of summer vacation. Sadly, Great-Granny is busy with more pressing matters, so it’s back to school for him! And this time joining Prince George at Thomas’s Battersea for the first time is his little sister Princess Charlotte. Somewhere in the Good Morning America studio, a producer just stared daggers at Lara Spencer and mouthed the words, “Don’t you dare ask where their tutus are.

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