The Mirror is reporting that the only daughter of Prince William and Duchess Catherine is actually the most high-value child they have, and her worth is higher than her 5-year-old brother Prince George and her barely-out-of-the-royal-vagine younger brother Prince Louis. Little miss Charlotte may be the middle child, but she is stunting on both her brothers.
Lil’ Charlotte is the first British princess who is retaining her line in succession to the throne, even though she has a younger brother. So when she’s older, she’ll luckily only have to poison one sibling to ascend to the thrown. And, beyond her infant-feminism taking control of the Royal Family’s bloodline, she is also extremely valuable money-wise which, lets be real, is where it counts.
According to a Reader’s Digest (yes, Reader’s Digest) estimation, Princess Charlotte is worth a whopping $5 billion. Yeah, thats BILLION, honey. She’s worth one-quarter of Elon Musk! That puts her far beyond her older and younger brother’s worth; about $3.6 billion and $50 million. This isn’t because Charlotte is a future businesswoman who will clutter our lives with collections of perfumes and other useless shit, but it also IS because Charlotte is cluttering our lives with collections of perfumes and other useless shit.
The calculations used to guess the girl’s worth is based on how much money she brings to the economy. Of course the idea here is that she can drive sales with her influence. Because apparently a toddler is hella influential. Charlotte is worth so much because people are incredibly feeble-minded and easily-influenced and will buy anything she wears. This is called the “Charlotte Effect“. Apparently Charlotte already has a huge influence on the Brits. When she wore a pastel yellow cardigan, it sold out within 24 hours. No mention on if it sold out to actual children or small adults hoping to fit into the largest size.
Across the pond, Beyoncé and Jay-Z have heard about how much Charlotte is worth and are furious. They didn’t put Blue Ivy Carter on the Billboard charts to get overshadowed by some Princess! Blue is the rightful richest child in the world, not some Becky in a palace!