Do you smell that? No, seriously, you guys. Do you smell it? It’s a clip from the next episode of American Idol, where there’s a dramatique gas leak! But what you’re smelling isn’t gas, it’s the Oscar, Emmy, and Tony that Katy Perry deserves for giving the performance of the decade with her dramatic fall that’s making every past Oscar winner hand over their award to her like, “I’m not worthy of this.‘
But yes, American Idol’s still a thing, and the eighteenth season premiered last Sunday, with returning judges Katy Perry, Luke Bryan, Lionel Richie, and forever-host Ryan Seacrest. In a preview clip for this week’s episode, Katy complains about smelling gas, and no it wasn’t from Ryan cutting one.
These country music stars are just not wilin’ out like they used to. This year’s red carpet at the Country Music Association Awards was tamer ‘enna a mule caught a nibblin’ in the marijuana patch. In fact, the only person on the red carpet to go full Nudie was the yodeling Walmart kid, who I guess is country famous now. You know, I yodeled in a Walmart once and never got invited to the CMAs. Of course I was yodeling through there with a quickness and headed straight for the bathroom; road-trip coffee diarrhea is nothing to joke about. For the most part, the ladies kept it simple with selections from the Gunne Sax prom collection, and the gentleman chose one or two items from the Sheplers catalog and paired them with black jeans. Of course, there were a few stand-out looks.
If Mariah Carey re-wrote the lyrics to Dionne Warwick’s song “That’s What Friends Are For,” her version would include this lyric:
And as far as I’m concerned
You should consider getting a new agent if they pitch you that trash American Idol
Mariah was on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night to promote her new Las Vegas residency, The Butterfly Returns and was asked by Jimmy if it was true that she told her friend and current American Idol judge Lionel Richie to not do the show when he was offered it. Mariah had an awful time on Idol, fought with fellow judge Nicki Minaj, and said she’d never do it again. Mariah answered:
“If I didn’t, I should have.”
Mariah quickly apologized before pretending she had no idea that Lionel was a judge on American Idol, asking “Is it going well for him?“. Only Lionel can answer that question. But one thing is for sure: any future contestants hoping to audition with Mariah’s “Hero” will automatically be given a lyrics sheet to “If You Had My Love” by Jennifer Lopez.
Pic: ABC via YouTube
Lionel Richie’s daughter Sofia Richie, 19, is in a relationship with Kardashian kast-off Scott Disick, 34. In some relationships, age difference is of no concern and if everybody’s legal and happy – play ball. And then there’s the relationship in which your man is the kind of guy who left his rich girlfriend and their three kids to keep partying on yachts but is probably still driving the Bentley she bought him and he likes you to wear bikinis around his friends so he can show off your hot body and brag about it. That’s this kind of relationship.
Sofia’s dad, American Idol judge and legendary smooth operator Lionel, appears to feel the same way. He told The Daily Telegraph (via People) that he thinks Sofia and Scott are “just a phase“. This means that Lionel doesn’t like his daughter’s dude and Scott has never been invited to the Richie manse to see the giant clay Lionel head from the “Hello” video. It’s surely displayed in a glass case in their foyer and it’s a privilege to view it in person. Continue reading
News regarding the overpriced albatross (aka the revival of American Idol) has been all about how the payroll department at ABC apparently took a quaalude to sign off on paying Katy Perry $25 million when Lionel Richie got far less, but now producers are here to say the new show is going to be about the talent and finally creating a STAH. So that means taking away the only reason people were watching Idol. Continue reading
Lionel Richie’s skills as an American Idol judge are landing him about $15 million less than Katy Perry, a fucked financial move that still has Suze Orman hooked up to an oxygen tank. But that doesn’t mean he’s resting on his laurels. Lionel has a trademarked phrase, and he’s ready to print and sell it on anything that will sit still long enough! Continue reading