Prince Harry Is Expected To Attend Both King Charles’ Coronation AND Archie’s Fourth Birthday Party

May 1, 2023 / Posted by:

Even though Prince Harry and Meghan Markle hoped their family of four would be welcomed with open arms to take center balcony at King Charles III’s Coronation this weekend–complete with a Prince Archie birthday shoutout–after scoring a reluctant, indirect invite, either The Firm laughed in their faces, or Harry found out there won’t be a proper supply of Monica Gellar’s garage fridge-grade shrooms there to make it bearable enough to stay for all three days. As we already heard, Harry’s going to attend the ceremony solo, but it looks like he’s also now decided to only stay in the UK for 24 hours to make an appearance at the main event of his dad’s corny before returning home in time to be at Archie’s “low-key” birthday party.

Page Six reports that Harry will be flying commercial (the horror!) to the UK to see the King’s crowning. Since Harry will probably be met with a reception as chilly as his frostbitten todger after airing his family’s dirty laundry in Spare, he plans to leave two hours after the crowning ends to make it back in time for Archie’s fourth birthday party–which we all definitely needed to know is being held the same date and time as the biggest event of his grandfather’s life.

According to The Sun, the Duke of Sussex, 38, will witness his father being crowned at Westminster Abbey around 11 a.m. and will be back in the air en route to the US by 3 p.m.

The “Spare” author will return to Los Angeles two hours after his father’s ceremony ends – so that he can celebrate son Archie’s 4th birthday with wife Meghan Markle.

Meanwhile, Markle, 41, and their two children – Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet – are staying home in California, opting not to attend the coronation.

“Harry’s going to make every effort to get back in time for Archie’s birthday,” an insider previously told us, noting that Harry will be flying commercial, not private.

“It’s going to be an intimate party,” they said of Archie’s birthday bash.

It’s not looking like Harry will get to wear his military uniform, though they might acquiesce to letting him pin on his medals; meanwhile, that kinky trick Winnie The Pooh probably won’t even be wearing any goddamned pants. And no one’s sure if Harry will have a spot in the King’s procession.

Earlier this week, the Daily Mail reported that Harry may face “uniform humiliation” at this historic event as he could be barred from wearing military attire.

Since the younger brother of Prince William served two tours in Afghanistan he may be permitted to display a tribute to his military service at the coronation, historian Dr. Peter Johnston told True Royalty TV’s “The Royal Beat.”

“I imagine Harry won’t wear [his] uniform,” he said. “I imagine he’ll wear his medals but quite where he fits within the procession and where he comes, I think will be probably reasonably similar to where he was at the funeral as well.”

And apparently, Willy hasn’t spoken to Harold since they laid Queen Elizabeth to rest, so unless Willy’s willing to apologize for breaking Harry’s midlife crisis necklace and Harry’s willing to apologize for shading Willy’s scant hairline in his memoir, the odds for reconciliation aren’t great.

“There is no chance of a reconciliation anytime soon, I’m afraid,” Paul Burrell, who worked for Princess Diana for over a decade, told the US Sun. “I think he will get a very icy reception from the Windsors.”

“He is coming to put his foot in the door and he is coming because his father wants him to be there,” the royal expert said.

Ok, but what I really want to hear about are the party games that will happen at this “intimate” birthday party. I’m going to place my bets on “Pin the Devil Horns on Samantha Markle” and “The Lip Gloss Limbo!

Pic: PA Images/INSTARimages

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