Service to The Crown means serving At Her Majesty’s Pleasure. And according to The Sun, it takes 22 people to pleasure Her Majesty, The Queen (cut her some slack, she’s 94 years old, it’s a miracle she can get there at all!). That’s the number of staff members in residence at Windsor Palace charged with the care and protection of The Queen, and I assume, just putting different funny hats on Prince Philip and sharing the pictures in the group chat.
A memo to the staff written by Master of the Household Tony Johnstone-Burt was circulated, revealing that since Britain went into quarantine, Windsor Castle has been dubbed “HMS Bubble”, and that the 22 members of the royal household staff are isolated there, away from their families, for the duration. Tony, a 40-year navy veteran, likened the situation to “a long deployment at sea where sailors are separated from their families for several months,” something Steve the footman in charge of trimming Philip’s nose hairs without waking him up, can surely relate to.
According to The Sun, The Queen was moved from Buckingham Palace to Windsor Castle and Prince Philip, 98, was flown in from Sandringham to join her when the lockdown began to be “looked after by their favourite servants,” a phrase that sends a cold chill down my spine, much how Philip probably feels when he wakes up to find one of his favorite servants holding a mirror in front of his face to check if he’s still breathing.
An insider said: “Her senior staff, including her private secretary Sir Edward Young, and his assistants have all moved into the castle.
“They won’t be seeing their families because no risks can be taken and they can’t go in and out.
“The most important thing is to protect the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh from the virus.
“If something happened to them it doesn’t bear thinking about.”
Apparently, The Queen hasn’t seen any other members of the Royal Family since she’s been in Quoronaqueentine (™), even though Princes Andrew and Edward live nearby.
However she has kept in contact by phone and insiders say she has become “a dab hand” at Skype and Zoom to speak to relatives and friends.
She famously promised “we will meet again” in her four-minute message recorded under strict health conditions and broadcast to the nation on April 5.
If The Queen really wanted to boost morale, she’d put that dab hand to good use by Zoom-bombing the peasants. Who wouldn’t be delighted to have Liz buzz in during a work call, wearing her Tuesday tiara, and being all “whatcha doing, poors?! Don’t you know, it’s gin-o’clock somewhere!”