When the first rumblings of a Beetlejuice sequel permeated the internet, fans of the cult classic went, “Go ahead! Make my millennium!” But fortunately, we won’t be waiting around a thousand years cause the official release date for Beetlejuice 2 is set for September 6, 2024. It was rumored last month that Jenna Ortega would star alongside some of the original cast reprising their roles– with Michael Keaton back as Beetlejuice and Winona Ryder as OG goth chick Lydia Deetz. And now it’s been confirmed that Jenna will play Lydia Deetz’s daughter.
I know they say you aren’t supposed to beat a dead horse, but what if the horse is actually undead and not really a horse at all, but more of a moldering human corpse with a lot of snappy one-liners? This is the question the folks at Plan B Entertainment, Brad Pitt’s production company, asked themselves before deciding to go ahead and flog the shit out of Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice. But you know what they also say? You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink, especially if he’s dead. But according to Screen Rant, after spending more than 30 years in The Neitherworld Waiting Room (sometimes referred to as “development hell” by Hollywood types), that green lady finally called Beetlejuice 2’s number, with Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder both reported to be on board.
How many Batmen are too many Batmen? Is it thee Batmen, four? Eight?! Safe to say, we’ve already crossed over the threshold of an ideal density of Batmen in America. The burden of Batmen is too damn high! As such, the revelation that Michael Keaton will be returning as Batman, eventually replacing Ben Affleck, the DCEU’s 2nd most reluctant Batperson after Robert Pattinson, should come as a relief. But while it’s not a net gain, Keaton returning brings the total number of Batmen currently in play to three, which I’m afraid is two too many by any metric.
For the Jolie-Pitts, nothing puts the “f”s in “family fun” quite like “forced foto-ops” on the red carpet for a kids movie with mom. Angelina Jolie unplugged the X-Box mid-Fortnite Battle Royale and told all them kids to go put on their outside clothes for the Hollywood premiere of Tim Burton’s Dumbo. Here’s the twist: They had fun.
Michael Keaton is a class act and always has been since Mister Mom right on up until he quietly shelved his Oscars acceptance speech when he didn’t win Best Actor for Birdman. And finally, the class act within has been turned without and we see him in his full glory! Here’s Michael Keaton done up as “V.A. Vandervere” in he upcoming live-action Dumbo flick. Please note the wavy perfection of the hair, the austere blue of the shades, and the sexy, commanding finger on that cane. Cane ME, Mr. Vandervere! Silver Fox Michael Keaton is already the best-dressed at tonight’s Golden Globes and I don’t think he’s even going to tonight’s Golden Globes.
The teaser trailer for Tim Burton’s Dumbo is here and I’ve got to say, I forgot how much I love him. It’s so nice to have a Johnny Depp-less Burton film to look forward to! As far as Disney live-action remakes go, this looks pretty dark. And that’s a good thing! Dumbo is a deeply disturbing story that’s ruined many a childhood. It deserves an equally disturbing, childhood ruining remake.
Here’s the trailer for Dumbo with the theme song “Baby Mine” sung by Norwegian singer-songwriter Aurora (via Polygon):
Holy anime eyes Tim Burton’s Batman! Also, Holy Batman, Batman! Yes, according to Polygon, that is best Batman Michael Keaton as V.A. Vandevere, a “persuasive entrepreneur” who recruits Dumbo for his “larger-than-life entertainment venture, Dreamland”. Keeping it in the Bat-Fam, Danny DeVito plays a circus owner who recruits Colin Farrell and his two kids to take care of Dumbo.
And in case you’ve got sand in your eyes and couldn’t tell, the little girl who plays Colin’s daughter Milly looks exactly like Thandie Newton. With good reason! She’s played by Nico Parker, Thandie’s 13 year-old mini-me. I’m not going to say one word about that beautiful girl Nico being having a very white family in this film (ok, maybe I said 21 words). Nowhere to be seen though are those racist ass crows from the original. Although, maybe they will address that elephant in the room in subsequent treatments.