Disney Will Continue To Defy The Meaning Of “Live-Action” With A “Live-Action” Bambi

Because Disney is obviously behind on a couple of mortgage payments and in desperate need of $$$, they’re continuing to take all of their animated properties and transform them into “live-action” films. Their next one? Bambi! Now the next-gen of little kids can watch Bambi’s mom…SPOILER ALERT…buy it in live-action! As if it wasn’t traumatizing enough in animation. Also, there is very little live-action about these movies. That deer will be Adobe, trust.

The Hollywood Reporter says that Disney has hired Geneva Robertson-Dworet (Captain Marvel, Tomb Raider) and Lindsey Beer (Sierra Burgess Is a Loser, Chaos Walking) to write the screenplay for a come-to-life Bambi movie to go along with Beauty & the Beast, Aladdin, Dumbo, and the rest of their properties.

This is happening because these live-actioners make BILLIONS of dollars. Expect every Disney property to be made into a live-action update eventually. Except maybe Song of the South. They still don’t want you to remember they made that one. They’d rather you think they were responsible for Cats than have you remember Song of the South.

Insiders say the studio views Bambi as a type of companion piece to its remakes The Jungle Book and The Lion King, which were not live-action per se but certainly made to look that way. The two, both hits (Lion King generated $1.65 billion when it was released last year), were made using envelope-pushing CG technology to create ground-breaking photo-realistic and immersive worlds of nature. The studio is cognizant that Bambi is less epic in scope and story and is not aiming to shoehorn a larger narrative onto the classic tale.

So breathe easy knowing that Bambi won’t find out he’s the chosen one and prophesized to save the world from evil aliens with his powers of cuteness only to be betrayed in his quest by a turncoat Thumper who was in league with the aliens the whole time and also secretly was the one who killed Bambi’s mom. That’s shame because that movie sounds a lot more interesting-terrible than watching CGI wildlife wander about a glade.

Pic: Disney