Over the weekend, Hannibal Buress had his mic cut off during a comedy set at Loyola University Chicago. According to Consequence of Sound, he’d been on stage for less than 5 minutes before the powers that be decided to pull the plug on the comedian for telling off color jokes about child molestation in the Catholic Church. LUC is a catholic university you see, and they told Hannibal upfront they weren’t going to allow their young, impressionable students be tainted by his filth flying filth. So what’s Hannibal do? He leads with a joke about child diddling priests.
Hannibal Buress made some bad memories in Miami, Florida this weekend. I should be more specific, since I’m pretty sure “bad memories” is the state’s motto. TMZ says that Hannibal was arrested early Sunday morning for “disorderly intoxication,” an arrest that involved a pissed-off Hannibal getting pushed into a police car. Don’t let that “2 blessed 2 b stressed” face he’s serving in his mugshot fool you; Hannibal most certainly wasn’t thrilled to be getting arrested.
At last night’s L.A. premiere of Spider-Man: Homecoming, Hannibal Buress, who plays Coach Wilson in it, walked the red carpet and did some interviews. The only problem is, despite what that lower third super would lead you to believe, that’s not Hannibal Buress, obviously.
Last year, Hannibal Buress went from a sort-of famous guy who plays the cute dentist Ilana sometimes bangs on Broad City to a very famous guy by reminding everyone during a stand-up set that Bill Cosby had a history of allegedly slipping drugs into his date’s drinks and that he was a generally pretty gross dude. But during an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night, Hannibal Buress joked that dragging up America’s Dad’s shady past has gotten him a bunch of Facebook death threats. And since it’s on Facebook, naturally there’s a chance you might have a friend in common:
“The weirdest thing about getting a death threat from a male body builder-slash-stripper on Facebook is when you click on his profile and see that you have one mutual friend, and then having to hit your friend up and say, ‘Hey man, can you tell your buddy to stop saying he’s going to murder me?'”
First of all, I want to see a picture of this male body builder-slash-stripper. Second, Hannibal Buress didn’t invent the Bill Cosby rumors, he just talked about them, so threatening to murder him is literally the definition of “Don’t shoot the messenger”. If anything, that body builder-slash-stripper should be threatening to murder wherever Hannibal got his information (look out, Personal life section of Bill Cosby’s Wikipedia page).
He also talked about how anxious he got telling a joke about Martha Stewart’s vagina at Justin Bieber’s Comedy Central roast. I think that might have just sold me on watching Justin Bieber’s Comedy Central roast, to be honest.
And if you want to know what Hannibal Buress looked like while he was telling said jokes about Martha Stewart’s heirloom snatch, here he is arriving to Justin Bieber’s Comedy Central roast last Saturday: