Insider reports Chris Martin went on Conan O’Brien’s podcast, Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend, and the pair chatted about meeting their heroes. Conan asked Chris if any of his idols ever gave him advice over dinner, and Chris revealed that, actually, he doesn’t eat dinner anymore. He stops eating at 4 pm and only has one big meal daily. Like a snake! Now, before you blame Chris’ strict diet on his ex-wife, bone broth enthusiast Gwyneth Paltrow, think again. It’s actually Bruce Springsteen’s fault! Turns out The Boss doesn’t just have a Hungry Heart; he also has a Hungry Tummy.
Well, well, well! Look who’s taken the first big step in getting consciously uncoupled. Dakota Johnson, who’s been dating Chris Martin since 2018 (apart from one brief break in summer 2019), has been spotted with a giant green rock on her engagement finger. Emerald? Kryptonite? Radium? Whatever it is, the ring screams, “I got corona-engaged to the Coldplay guy!”
The September issue of British Vogue may feature black activists on the cover, but inside it features everyone’s favorite (insert groans here) rich white woman Gwyneth Paltrow who wrote a personal essay about that time she brought the phrase “conscious uncoupling” to the masses when she and Chris Martin broke up. Gwyneth didn’t only bring up “conscious uncoupling” once again, she also once again talked about why her marriage to Chris Martin ended after 11 years. And well, at least this time she didn’t gross some people out by referring to Chris as her brother.
Remember when Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin had a baby girl and named her “Apple”? APPLE! It was one of the first ever truly ridiculous celebrity baby names. Without Apple, we wouldn’t have X Æ A-12. A true pioneer. Well, prepare to feel old, because little Apple just turned 16. Gwyneth hopped on Instagram, and shared some rare photos of her doppelganger-daughter in a special birthday post.
The One World: Together at Home global concert event happened last night, featuring a ton of celebrities who, at some point, got tired of staring at the wall and instead decided to mic up, find the part of their house that looks the least opulent, and croak out some of your favorite karaoke tunes (mostly, sans fards) in real-time. It raised more than $127 million to fight coronavirus, and yes, Ellen DeGeneres found a way to piss people off… during a charity show. It’s a gift!
Many have been saying that Saturday Night Live has been phoning it in for a while, and well, last night, they Zoomed it in (sort of). Because of the obvious, the SNL cast can’t get together, so they did the show from their homes. And like the rest of us, I had nothing better to do last night, so I checked up on it and found “COVID-19 survivor“ Tom Hanks rising out of the pits of corona hell to open the show.