Category: Chris Martin

Dakota Johnson’s Tooth Gap Is Gone And People Are Sad For Some Reason

August 6, 2019 / Posted by:

Sorry all you gap-tooth lovers out there–one of your Queens has fallen. Dakota Johnson seems to have closed that small gap between her two front teeth as it looks like the once-parted incisors are now fully connected best friends. And you know what? The internet has an opinion on the matter. It’s wild to think that people would comment on Dakota Johnson changing her own physical appearance since the Internet usually doesn’t notice these thing.

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Chris Martin And Dakota Johnson Might Have Gotten Back Together

August 2, 2019 / Posted by:

Break out the dildos, sex robots, candle wax, and and fetish gear. America’s sexiset couple are back together! Us Weekly reports that Chris Martin and Dakota Johnson’s insane sexual chemistry has brought them back together just a month after they reportedly broke up. I guess those matching infinity tattoos weren’t a laughable mistake after all!

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Chris Martin And Dakota Johnson Reportedly Split Due To Her Not Wanting To Make Babies

June 17, 2019 / Posted by:

Chris Martin and Dakota Johnson have ended their 18 month relationship, allegedly due to Chris really wanting to make some Martin-Johnson kids, and Dakota wanting to make more porn lite like Fifty Shades of Grey movies and buddy comedies with Rebel Wilson. Basically, 29-year-old Dakota wanted to focus on her career and Chris Martin wanted to focus on not becoming another internet meme and procreating with her.

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Chris Martin And Dakota Johnson Are Reportedly Done

June 15, 2019 / Posted by:

While Gwyneth Paltrow touts the marital advantages of her husband living in a different home miles away from her, her ex-husband Chris Martin obviously chose not to follow her lead. The Sun reports that Chris has broken up was with his girlfriend, 50 Shades of Boring S&M star Dakota Johnson. Earlier this year, Chris bought a $5 million Malibu beach house for them to live in together. Who would have thought that GOOP could ever be right about anything?

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Gwyneth Paltrow Brought Chris Martin Along To Her Honeymoon To Brad Falchuk

January 10, 2019 / Posted by:

Snake oil saleswoman, sometimes-actress, and yoga “founder” Gwyneth Paltrow already wanted us to know her divorce from Chris Martin wasn’t like any other divorce – they were “conscious uncoupling,” which meant they would still be friends. Fast forward a few years, and Gwyn is now married to Brad Falchuk, and Chris is with Dakota Johnson. I guess conscious uncoupling also means consciously agreeing to fly your ass to the Maldives and play babysitter to your ex while she has a honeymoon because Gwyn says Chris came along with their kids when she and Brad honeymooned over the last few weeks.

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Dakota Johnson Spent Thanksgiving With Chris Martin And Gwyneth Paltrow

November 26, 2018 / Posted by:

I don’t know for sure that Thanksgiving with Gwyneth Paltrow involves a wine that goes well with boiled kale stems (although I’m sure that’s totally on the table), but thanks to People, we know that it allegedly involved dinner with her new husband, as well as her ex-husband and his girlfriend. Sources say that Gwyneth, Brad Falchuk, Chris Martin, and Dakota Johnson, as well as Gywneth and Chris’ kids, Apple and Moses, all joined together for Thanksgiving dinner this year.

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