The One World: Together at Home global concert event happened last night, featuring a ton of celebrities who, at some point, got tired of staring at the wall and instead decided to mic up, find the part of their house that looks the least opulent, and croak out some of your favorite karaoke tunes (mostly, sans fards) in real-time. It raised more than $127 million to fight coronavirus, and yes, Ellen DeGeneres found a way to piss people off… during a charity show. It’s a gift!
First and foremost, there were a number of takeaways from this virtual concert series. One: a lot of celebrities have really ugly living rooms. And two: many of these singers have relied on dedicated producers and sound people throughout their careers––and it SHOWS when they have to perform without them. But hey, they yodeled for a good cause and made it work, mostly.
Jimmy Fallon (without a laugh track), Jimmy Kimmel, and Stephen Colbert all hosted. But like every televised award show, a host is completely unnecessary.
Also, Ellen DeGeneres made a cameo, popping up randomly right in the middle of Chris Martin’s performance of that sad Coldplay song. Technical glitches aside, this particular instance was kind of like expecting a kick in the gut, but instead getting a punch in the face. Ellen sat cross-legged on a chair, talking about being kind or some shit. Strangely, the microphones didn’t manage to pick up the muffled cries of her TV show’s crew members begging for scraps from the other side of her gated compound.
There was also the Rolling Stones, who played four different instruments from four different locations and it all managed to sound seamless. And I guess they did “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”, because that sums up most of our trips to the store to try to buy toilet paper and flour to make bread since we’re legally obligated to do so. And since Keith Richards will live until eternity, maybe the vaccine lies in his blood?!
And why did America’s favorite quarantine couple, Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes, choose to sing Louis Armstrong’s “Wonderful World” when, for the past month, they’ve consistently looked like they’ve barely survived a nuclear explosion while on their morning zombie walks?
For the few clunkers, there were some standouts. JLo’s rendition of “People” was a wet dream for self-isolating gays.
And speaking of wet dreams, Elton John who, despite the somber tone, refused to take off his red-tinted Lolita sunglasses, and plowed through “I’m Still Standing” in his garden.
And, of course, there was concert organizer, Lady Gaga who did “Smile”, and later joined Celine Dion, Andrea Bocelli, Lang Lang and John Legend to perform “The Prayer”.
Lizzo doing “A Change Is Gonna Come“:
Stevie Wonder Doing “Lean On Me” and “Love’s In Need Of Love Today“:
Billie Eilish and her brother Finneas doing a “WE CAN’T FUCKING HEAR YOU” version of “Sunny“:
Taylor Swift doing “Soon You’ll Get Better“:
Billie Joe Armstrong doing “Wake Me Up When September Ends“:
Eddie Vedder doing “River Cross“:
Paul McCartney doing “Lady Madonna”:
Kacey Musgraves doing “Rainbow“:
And Annie Lennox doing “I Save The World Today“: