Remember when Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin had a baby girl and named her “Apple”? APPLE! It was one of the first ever truly ridiculous celebrity baby names. Without Apple, we wouldn’t have X Æ A-12. A true pioneer. Well, prepare to feel old, because little Apple just turned 16. Gwyneth hopped on Instagram, and shared some rare photos of her doppelganger-daughter in a special birthday post.
Here’s Goopy’s IG post:
View this post on Instagram
I can’t believe I’m actually writing these words but… happy sweet sixteen my darling girl. You are the light of my heart, you are pure joy. You are wickedly intelligent and you have the best, most dry, most brilliant sense of humor. I have the best time being your mom. I love our nightly evening chats when I really get to hear what’s on your mind. You work hard to get whatever it is you want to achieve, and you have grit and responsibility in spades. I am so damn lucky to be your mother, you beautiful, kind young woman. Thank you for choosing me. I adore you to the moon and back a zillion times. I’m sorry you are having this particular birthday during these circumstances, but as always with you, you find the best in everything. 💝
A few hours after posting, Gwyneth and Chris hosted a “drive-by party” for Apple’s sweet sixteen, inviting her friends over. The pap photos show Apple hugging her mask-less friends, before they headed back to their cars (decorated with balloons and happy birthday signs). Um, if you’re hugging and touching, doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose of trying to make it a corona-free “drive-by party”?
There’s a part of me that thinks that since Apple’s mom and grandma are in the acting game, she’ll pull a Lily-Rose Depp and become a model/actress type. Or hell, maybe she’ll surprise us all by becoming a doctor, or an engineer, or a fruit seller at a farmer’s market (hey, her name is Apple, it wouldn’t be the worst fit). Or she’ll become an anti-capitalism activist and vow to take GOOP.com down! I mean, she was pissed when her mom posted a picture of her on Instagram.