Category: Apple

Apple’s New $3500 VR Device Is Being Ridiculed Online

June 6, 2023 / Posted by:

Forget about being a Democrat or Republican. In these technologically advanced times, only one thing truly matters: Apple or Android? And Apple’s obsessed customers love to remind Android users how much their phones suck and will NEVER live up to Apple’s pristine standards. Well, the time has come for all Android users to unite, point their fingers at the Apple zombies, and laugh at their misfortune since the next device on deck, Apple Vision Pro, costs more than many people make in a month. And although there was a time when Apple users would sell their furniture and both kidneys to play with a new Apple product, these are no longer those times. And their customers are not prepared to drop $3,500 on a device nobody even asked for in the first place.

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Gwyneth Paltrow And Daughter Apple Get Mother-Daughter Piercings Every Year For Apple’s Birthday

June 10, 2021 / Posted by:

Every year on the unfortunately-named Apple Martin’s birthday, she and momma Gwyneth Paltrow get piercings together (what, no vaginal steaming?). Because in case ya didn’t know, Goopy’s not like a regular mom, she’s a *cool* mom. Gwyneth shared this information on Goop’s website to promote the brand’s new “G. Label” jewelry collection. She says Apple was a big inspiration for the pieces. Now, Gwyneth didn’t specify where she and Apple got pierced for the teen’s recent 17th birthday, but hopefully next year Goopy tries piercing her lips shut. Her face lips, yeesh! Get your minds outta the gutter.

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Gwyneth Paltrow And Chris Martin’s Daughter Apple Is All Grown Up

May 15, 2020 / Posted by:

Remember when Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin had a baby girl and named her “Apple”? APPLE! It was one of the first ever truly ridiculous celebrity baby names. Without Apple, we wouldn’t have X Æ A-12. A true pioneer. Well, prepare to feel old, because little Apple just turned 16. Gwyneth hopped on Instagram, and shared some rare photos of her doppelganger-daughter in a special birthday post.

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Director Rian Johnson Reveals That iPhones Are Not Allowed To Be Held By Villains In Movies

February 28, 2020 / Posted by:

Apple is okay with real-life supervillains using an iPhone, but fake supervillains are not allowed. Knives Out writer/director Rian Johnson, who also made the best and most-hated Star Wars movie, revealed that iPhone will let you use their products in movies because of promo. But don’t you dare put one in the hands of someone evil.

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Jennifer Aniston And Reese Witherspoon Reportedly Got $2 Million Per Episode For “The Morning Show”

October 16, 2019 / Posted by:

BREAKING NEWS. This just in…I’m still very very rich, bitch” is what Jennifer Aniston would be reporting if she were a real newscaster sitting behind a real news desk. Because Jennifer Aniston, as well as her The Morning Show co-star Reese Witherspoon, are even richer. And it’s all thanks to Apple and their big fat check book.

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Apple TV Plus Released A Trailer For Its First Original Series “The Morning Show”

August 19, 2019 / Posted by:

The trailer for The Morning Show, Apple TV Plus’ first series for their new streaming service is here. And it looks like Apple came out of the gate swinging! But like really ineffectively, as if they were met with a swarm of gnats instead of a serious opponent like Netflix or HBO Go. Stars Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, and Steve Carell came out pffting and flailing, trying to keep the gnats from sticking to their lip gloss or going up their noses. What I’m saying is that The Morning Show is the gnat in the nose of Apple TV. And with all the streaming options available these days, Apple TV is going to have a hard time getting their hands on people’s money with some weak ass applesauce like this.

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