Well, well, well! Look who’s taken the first big step in getting consciously uncoupled. Dakota Johnson, who’s been dating Chris Martin since 2018 (apart from one brief break in summer 2019), has been spotted with a giant green rock on her engagement finger. Emerald? Kryptonite? Radium? Whatever it is, the ring screams, “I got corona-engaged to the Coldplay guy!”
Here’s 31-year-old Dakota oot n’ aboot in West Hollywood flashing that green thing:
baby 💚 pic.twitter.com/rHvCJCC2sm
— Dakota Johnson Daily (@dakoholics) December 14, 2020
— Dakota & Stana Fans (@fang_sung) December 15, 2020
Ugh, I too have been rocking a mask, messy bun, a big black coat, and sweatpants? But instead of getting papped, I just get charitable well-wishers throwing corona-contaminated change into my coffee cup. “Awww, here you go, sweetie! Things’ll look up!”
No comment from Dakota or 43-year-old Chris, but it’s not like the famously private couple would ever confirm or deny. But we all knew their relationship was super serious, as evidenced by their matching infinity symbol tattoos. And if they are engaged, it means Dakota will be the Julia Roberts to Gwyneth Paltrow’s Susan Sarandon in Stepmom. Except Gwyneth will never, ever die. Not with all the Goop wellness crystal dust she snorts every morning.
Finally, a reminder that it has been one whole year since Dakota and Ellen DeGeneres’ iconic showdown. And while Dakota likely received her happy ending, nemesis Ellen is all but destroyed. Damn. Never cross a Johnson, Griffith, or Hedren woman. Karma (or one of their tigers) will bite you in the ass.