Back in April, we learned that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s never-ending messy divorce fight was almost over. They had legally became single, but weren’t officially divorced. We now have a singular, just one, update to that. Oh, who am I kidding? We’re in for more stories ,aren’t we? This one is about how Brad is trying to get the divorce moving so he’s giving Angie an “ultimatum”. Well, maybe their negotiations over money and assets will go better than the one over their kids? …I definitely don’t believe that but… I felt I needed to say it.
First he took a time machine back to 1969, now he’s using a rocket ship to get as far away as possible from his responsibilities here on earth. The lengths William Bradley Pitt will go to to avoid looking like a 55-year-old divorced father of 6 are truly staggering. But what’s the use of being an actor if you can’t use the rich fantasy world created around you to work out some personal issues. In the trailer for Ad Astra, the many times delayed deep space therapy session/adventure, Brad’s character is an astronaut grappling with some daddy issues. Rocket fuel and daddy issues, what could go wrong?
Quentin Tarantino’s take on Helter Skelter, aka Once Upon A Time in Hollywood, was the buzziest movie at Cannes and continues to be, especially since preview-goers realized that the Manson Family’s most famous victim, Sharon Tate played by Margot Robbie, is barely in it and says even less. Tarantino rejects that hypothesis but did pay Margot’s presence some lip service as being an angel ghost or some bullshit. That does make sense. Because she’s supposedly next to invisible in the movie just like an angel or a ghost.
Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt are in full-blown press-tour mode for Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, which is why they got a cover story courtesy of Esquire. As you can see, this is a super retro special issue. Everything is retro: the clothes, the car, all the way down to Brad and Leo’s squinty “the sun’s too bright” faces. Nothing says throwback to the ’60s more than looking like you’ve chosen to stare directly into a solar eclipse without proper eye protection. But enough about that, we’re here to talk about the real star of the OUATIH set, who – in Brad and Leo’s squinty eyes – was the late great Luke Perry.
Don’t Ask Quentin Tarantino About How Little Screen Time Margot Robbie Gets In “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood”
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, which honestly should be a Cinderella reboot starring the Queen of Hollywood Angelyne, premiered at Cannes yesterday, where it got a 7-minute standing ovation. Although, it feels like at Cannes, audiences are either giving standing ovations or booing a bitch. The reviews for Quentin Tarantino’s take on the Manson murders are in, and the ones I’ve read are mostly positive, but do say that the gory and “provocative” ending will DIVIDE THE COUNTRY even more. Let me guess, Sharon Tate survives and brutally gets revenge. Kill Charlie!
No, that doesn’t happen, because it would mean that Margot Robbie, who plays Sharon Tate, gets plenty of screen time. But apparently, she doesn’t and barely has any lines compared to her co-stars Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio. At a press conference for the movie, QT was asked why Margot Robbie doesn’t talk much in the movie. And QT didn’t talk much while giving his response.
Foot fetishists rejoice (podophobiacs recoil)! Unlike in the previous trailer, Foot Fucker In Chief Quentin Tarantino paid lipservice to your kink and shoehorned a pair of plump N’ grubby Flintstone feet into the new full length trailer for Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. And everybody, footsuckers included, can breathe a sigh of relief because the feet in question don’t belong to Lena Dunham. As far as we know, the only naked Dunham moment in this production was the time she lifted her skirt and gave William Bradley Pitt the scare of his life. And as we know, Brad don’t scare easy.