Jimmy Fallon Asked Elon Musk To Shut Off The #RIPJimmyFallon Twitter Hashtag Since He’s Still Alive, But Elon Saw No Issue With It
Even though pandering Golden Retriever-type Jimmy Fallon almost died of the shame shivers that one time modern-day Madonna awkwardly flashed her paid-for oversized nalgas on The Tonight Show, he lived to over-laugh at literally everything his guests say another day. But despite the fact that Jimmy’s still alive, the hashtag #RIPJimmyFallon started trending on Twitter last night when many tweeters started using it mischievously with pics of people who aren’t actually Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy got Jimmy-mad (which probably isn’t actually very mad at all), and tweeted directly to Elon Musk, asking him to shut the whole thing down. However, Elon didn’t seem to see any issue with the blatant misinformation since misinformation and general dipshittery have recently emerged as the meat of Elon Musk’s Twitter™.
The Jury Has Gone Into Deliberation In The Danny Masterson’s Sexual Assault Trial
Yesterday, final arguments were heard in the Los Angeles criminal sexual assault trial against Danny Masterson, in which Danny is charged with three counts of forcible rape, between 2001 and 2003, by three women, all former Scientologists. And although Danny may have had the best legal representation money can buy, presumably thanks to the most lucrative “church” rummage sale in the history of the earth and beyond, even if they managed to sell all of the props from Battlefield Earth and every single one of Tom Cruise’s signed apple crates, it may not have been enough to persuade the jury of his innocence as they move into deliberations.
Brad Pitt Was Spotted At A Bono Concert With Paul Wesley’s Ex, Ines de Ramon (UPDATE)
About a minute ago, it was rumored that 58-year-old Brad Pitt was getting on 31-year-old Emily Ratajkowski, and apparently, he was really into her, but there was no paparazzi proof that they were ever together, and neither said shit about it. So either it was a hit-it-and-quit-it situation, or they never dated, and Brad’s PR team simply pulled out Emily’s name from a hat filled with the names of possible famous types they can link him to so that everyone could temporarily forget those abuse on a plane allegations. Well, the union of PittRat was over before it began, and Emily RideAJetSki has reportedly jumped off her jet ski and hopped onto Pete Davidson. And Brad may have gone on a date with 29-year-old Ines de Ramon. Ines is the estranged wife of 40-year-old Paul Wesley from The Vampire Diaries and also a woman who would look at you with question mark eyes if you asked her if she’s seen 1992’s Cool World. Actually, most would probably look at you with question mark eyes since they’re trying to forget that mess ever existed.
JoJo Siwa Calls Out Candace Cameron Bure For Her “Traditional Marriage” Comment (UPDATE)
Candace Cameron Bure reminded everyone she won’t be flying any rainbow flags over at her new network Great American Family EVER because she wants to focus on “traditional marriage “or some bullshit. Candace was asked during a Wall Street Journal interview if GAC would ever make a Christmas movie starring a same-sex couple. Kirk Cameron’s sister in blood and sanctimony burped out, “I think that Great American Family will keep traditional marriage at the core.” In response to that, Hilarie Burton came out swinging with words of support for the LGBTQ+ community. Now Candace’s summertime arch-nemesis JoJo Siwa is ready for tound two, expressing her disappointment. But this time, she’s receiving assistance from Candace’s Fuller House co-star Jodie Sweetin, who basically took one look at the WSJ interview and immediately said, “How Rude!”
Denise Richards And Her Husband Were Shot At In A Road Rage Incident
Denise Richards didn’t dodge a bullet way back when she decided to marry and start a family with the bloviating “tiger-blooded” philanderer Charlie Sheen. But luckily, she and her now-husband, creepy alternative medicine quack Aaron Phypers, were able to dodge literal bullets the other day when the truck he was driving her in was shot at by a road-raging asshole. Both Denise and Aaron were uninjured in this uniquely American incident but were understandably terrified.
Mariah Carey Loses Her Bid To Trademark The Phrase “Queen Of Christmas”
Like a rooster announcing the morning, so too does Mariah Carey beckon in the coming Christmas every November 1st. Sadly for her, she won’t be able to do so with exclusive trademark rights to the title “Queen of Christmas” since the U.S. Trademark Trial and Appeal Board rejected Mariah’s prior request. Well, she can’t cash in as big as she wanted to, but at least Dolly Parton still thinks of Mariah as the Queen of Christmas!