Category: Scientology

Golden Globes Host Jerrod Carmichael Asked The Big Question Of The Night: Where Is Shelly?

January 11, 2023 / Posted by:

Okay, well, the second big question of the night since the first was, “How much pandering can the Hollywood Foreign Press Association do to pull themselves out of the disastrous hole they dug for themselves?” The show’s host, comedian Jerrod Carmichael, addressed that shit in his opening monologue by bluntly saying, “I’m here because I’m Black.” That got big laughs. But later in the night, Jerrod brought out the three Golden Globes that Tom Cruise returned to sender because the Jesus of Scientology is way too good to be associated with such a shady and diabolical organization. Jerrod then dropped a “Where is Shelly?” joke, and some laughed and clapped, but others groaned or stayed uncomfortably quiet. The audience obviously got the memo that it’s now okay to laugh at what a mess the HFPA is, but there was no memo that it’s okay to laugh at Scientology disses. Stick to one cause, Jerrod!

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The Jury In Danny Masterson’s Rape Trial Was Ordered To Restart Deliberations After Two Jurors Were Replaced Due To COVID-19

November 29, 2022 / Posted by:

I’m not sure what a typical Thanksgiving meal looks like for a Scientologist, but I’m fairly certain, in my bones, that those phony fuckers can’t cook for shit. There’s probably some tenant against real butter and I’m fairly certain everything is salty as hell, so they spend all weekend on the toilet pissing out make-believe toxins. So no matter what whack-ass food you might have had to choke down over the holiday, just know that Danny Masterson had it worse. Not only did his Thanksgiving turkey probably get audited, overbrined, and stuffed with 5,000 mg of niacin, he also had to choke on the fact that a deadlocked jury would be returning to their deliberations to determine his guilt or innocence on three counts of forceable rape

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The Jury Has Gone Into Deliberation In The Danny Masterson’s Sexual Assault Trial

November 16, 2022 / Posted by:

Yesterday, final arguments were heard in the Los Angeles criminal sexual assault trial against Danny Masterson, in which Danny is charged with three counts of forcible rape, between 2001 and 2003, by three women, all former Scientologists. And although Danny may have had the best legal representation money can buy, presumably thanks to the most lucrative “church” rummage sale in the history of the earth and beyond, even if they managed to sell all of the props from Battlefield Earth and every single one of Tom Cruise’s signed apple crates, it may not have been enough to persuade the jury of his innocence as they move into deliberations.

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Today in Terrible Roll Calls: Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, Paul Haggis, And Danny Masterson Will All Be Standing Trial This Fall

October 10, 2022 / Posted by:

So many alleged and convicted sex offenders, so little time. In today’s post #MeToo world, it’s harder than ever to keep abreast (sorry, poor choice) of all the many (OK, a paltry four) men in Hollywood who are currently facing trial for sexual offenses. According to Deadline, veteran defendants Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein, and consequences newcomers, former Scientologist Paul Haggis and current Scientologist Danny Masterson will each have their day/s in court this fall.

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Mike Rinder’s New Book Gets Into How Scientology Dealt With The John Travolta Gay Rumors, Tried To Woo David Beckham, And Alienated Tom Cruise From Nicole Kidman

September 27, 2022 / Posted by:

Mike Rinder, former high-level Scientologist and co-host of the A&E docuseries, Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath, has a new book. It’s called A Billion Years: My Escape From a Life in the Highest Ranks of Scientology, and it promises to that expose “the dark, dystopian truth about Scientology.” Fun! The book just came out, so there are a bunch of headlines making the rounds today.

For example, those John Travolta gay rumors. 67-year-old Mike claims that, back in the day, he was chatting to John in a hotel suite when a male masseur walked in the room and kissed John on the mouth. Whoops! Then there’s the failed wooing of David and Victoria Beckham. Apparently, Tom Cruise wanted David to be in Scientology so bad that he built a soccer field. But it didn’t work. Whomp, whomp! Finally, there’s the Nicole Kidman stuff. Mike claims that David Miscavige felt Tom was pulling away from the cult while filming Eyes Wide Shut with Nicole in London, so he sent one of his cronies to “audit” Tom. The audit drew Tom back into Scientology and created a distance between him and his wife. Obviously, Scientology denies all of Mike’s allegations. They tell Page Six that he’s an “inveterate liar.” Google says “inveterate” means: “chronic, deep-seated.” So that’s two words Scientology has taught me: “inveterate” and “glib.” Continue reading

Simon Pegg Would Like To Clarify His Comments About How Tom Cruise Never Apologizes

June 12, 2022 / Posted by:

Simon Pegg and Tom Cruise first got friendly with each other while making 2006’s Mission: Impossible III, and Simon has been in every M:I movie since, and I guess their friendship is strong enough for The Times of London to title their interview with Simon, Simon Pegg: my addiction, midlife crisis – and Tom Cruise bromance. Never Mind that David Miscavige is probably screeching his Thetans off in anger over that “bromance” line, the tidbit that got the most attention from Simon’s interview is the part where Simon said that Tommy never ever apologizes. This is not news to any Scientology minion who has probably had to say, “You’re right, all-knowing Tom, the sky isn’t blue, you are six foot two without heels, and Shelly Miscavige is 100% fine.” But that nugget made Simon Pegg trend on Twitter, and because, I guess, Simon really doesn’t want to feel the wrath of the intergalactic Henery Hawk, he has popped up to say that it’s just a running joke between them, you idiots!

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