Tom Cruise better start plumping up his bosom because Little Lord David Mascivage is going to need something pillowy to rest his head on as he weeps since one of Scientology’s very own is probably headed to the chokey. About six months after Danny Masterson’s first rape trial ended with a hung jury, the jury in his retrial found him GUILTY of two out of three counts of forcible rape. They were deadlocked on the third charge. Danny’s smug ass could be locked away for 30 years. So everyone, time to update your title for Danny Masterson from “That ’70s Show star” to “Convicted Rapist.”
Since I’m a fan of Simon Pegg…’s movies (well, the ones directed by Edgar Wright), I’ve done my very best to ignore the fact that he’s friends with Tom Cruise. Unfortunately, it’s Mission: Impossible for Simon to shut the fuck up about his cult leader bestie. Last year, Simon did an interview where he said Tom never accepts responsibility for his mistakes. After the comments went viral, he backtracked and said we all shoulda known he was joking. Over the weekend, Yahoo! reported that, during an interview on BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs, Simon admitted he actively avoids talking to Tom about Scientology, cuz, if he did, “it would be me abusing my privileged access that I get to him.” So… and lemme really try to wrap my head around this one… Simon is saying that if he brings up Scientology to Tom Cruise, a man famous for abusing his power and privilege as its Messiah, that’s the real abuse?
Leah Remini Says Danny Masterson’s Legal Team Tried To Get Her Removed From The Courtroom On The First Day Of His Rape Retrial (UPDATE)
Leah Remini has entered the chat. Late last year, Danny Masterson was tried on sexual assault charges in Los Angeles, and it ended with a hung jury. Prosecutors decided to retry him, and his retrial started this week. And the first day of his retrial got a special guest appearance by Leah Remini, supreme slayer of Scientology and David Miscavige’s worse nightmare. Cinemablend says that Leah showed up in court on Monday to support the three former Scientologists who have accused Danny of sexual assault and Scientology of trying to shut them up. And surprisingly (not at all), Scientology goons didn’t want her there.
Okay, well, the second big question of the night since the first was, “How much pandering can the Hollywood Foreign Press Association do to pull themselves out of the disastrous hole they dug for themselves?” The show’s host, comedian Jerrod Carmichael, addressed that shit in his opening monologue by bluntly saying, “I’m here because I’m Black.” That got big laughs. But later in the night, Jerrod brought out the three Golden Globes that Tom Cruise returned to sender because the Jesus of Scientology is way too good to be associated with such a shady and diabolical organization. Jerrod then dropped a “Where is Shelly?” joke, and some laughed and clapped, but others groaned or stayed uncomfortably quiet. The audience obviously got the memo that it’s now okay to laugh at what a mess the HFPA is, but there was no memo that it’s okay to laugh at Scientology disses. Stick to one cause, Jerrod!
The Jury In Danny Masterson’s Rape Trial Was Ordered To Restart Deliberations After Two Jurors Were Replaced Due To COVID-19
I’m not sure what a typical Thanksgiving meal looks like for a Scientologist, but I’m fairly certain, in my bones, that those phony fuckers can’t cook for shit. There’s probably some tenant against real butter and I’m fairly certain everything is salty as hell, so they spend all weekend on the toilet pissing out make-believe toxins. So no matter what whack-ass food you might have had to choke down over the holiday, just know that Danny Masterson had it worse. Not only did his Thanksgiving turkey probably get audited, overbrined, and stuffed with 5,000 mg of niacin, he also had to choke on the fact that a deadlocked jury would be returning to their deliberations to determine his guilt or innocence on three counts of forceable rape.
Yesterday, final arguments were heard in the Los Angeles criminal sexual assault trial against Danny Masterson, in which Danny is charged with three counts of forcible rape, between 2001 and 2003, by three women, all former Scientologists. And although Danny may have had the best legal representation money can buy, presumably thanks to the most lucrative “church” rummage sale in the history of the earth and beyond, even if they managed to sell all of the props from Battlefield Earth and every single one of Tom Cruise’s signed apple crates, it may not have been enough to persuade the jury of his innocence as they move into deliberations.