Yesterday, final arguments were heard in the Los Angeles criminal sexual assault trial against Danny Masterson, in which Danny is charged with three counts of forcible rape, between 2001 and 2003, by three women, all former Scientologists. And although Danny may have had the best legal representation money can buy, presumably thanks to the most lucrative “church” rummage sale in the history of the earth and beyond, even if they managed to sell all of the props from Battlefield Earth and every single one of Tom Cruise’s signed apple crates, it may not have been enough to persuade the jury of his innocence as they move into deliberations.
Yesterday we found out what happens when you cross Tom Cruise. Surprisingly, he is not very chill about it. Like AT. ALL. When audio was leaked of him flipping his wig at a couple of crew members who broke COVID safety protocols by standing too close to each other on the set of Mission Impossible 7 in the UK, I couldn’t help but recall that picture of a radiant and triumphant Nicole Kidman twirling Sound Of Music style in a parking lot after signing her divorce papers. And according to Page Six, after a second on-set outburst, five MI7 crew members have also decided to quit a bitch and let their inner Julie Andrews twirl.
There are a lot of motherfuckers in Hollywood who should be investing in the continued health and well being of Thandie Newton. They (and they know who they are) might consider signing her up for a vitamin of the month club or something because in a recent Vulture interview, Thandie let it be known that she’s got a “little black book, which will be published on my deathbed.” Thandie has been through the wringer and has thankfully come out the other side a self-possessed queen who will shank you, with extreme Britishness, with the word “love.” But nothing she endured could prepare her for the harrowing experience of starring opposite a pulsating zit on the tip of Tom Cruise’s nose.
In Light Of Danny Masterson’s Rape Arrest, Leah Remini Says Scientology’s Days Of “Getting Away With It” Are Numbered
Yesterday, we learned that Danny Masterson was charged with three counts of rape by force or fear for allegedly raping three women, all former Scientologists, between the years 2001 and 2003. The New York Times reports that Danny “was arrested on Wednesday morning and was later released on statutory bail” which was set at $3.3 million (of which Danny needed to pay 10% of, in cash). No need to sprain your brain trying to figure out why it took nearly 20 years for charges to be filed (Hint: Alien Space Magic Cult). Now, anti-Alien Space Magic Cult spokeswoman Leah Remini, who was instrumental in helping to get these charges filed, says Scientology’s “days of getting away with it [are] coming to an end!” And man does that “it” runs deep.
That persistent, rat a tat tat sound you hear right now is Tom Cruise stomping his little Cha Cha heels in a rage over the news that the release date for Top Gun 2: What Could Go Wrong? has been postponed yet again, this time due to the coronavirus pandemic. If so many lives and livelihoods weren’t at stake, I’d give coronavirus a big wet kiss on the mouth for providing us with this small dose of schadenfreude during this difficult time. Top Gun: Maverick joins a slew of other movies, including the sequel to A Quiet Place, that are having to self-isolate from their scheduled theatrical release dates. According to The Wrap, Top Gun: Maverick’s Goose Is Cooked won’t be buzzing our towers until Christmas.
Time to dust off Odelay and have ourselves a good old fashioned Scientology Schadenfreude dance party! According to The Hollywood Reporter, Beck has officially denounced L. Ron Hubbard as his overlord and savior and declared himself an SP (that stands for smart person) by unequivocally stating he is not a Scientologist. I can hear Leah Remini cackling with glee from here.