After Kanye West appeared in a gimp mask on Alex Jones’s InfoWars yesterday and did the impossible by making Alex look like the most sensible person in the room for once when he outright admitted that he likes Hitler and declared that it’s time to stop dissing Nazis, Kanye then moved his shockingly blatant antisemitism and nearly constant ranting to Twitter. In his manic tweeting, Ye also defended Balenciaga, claimed that he “caught” Kim Kardashian with NBA player Chris Paul, and shared a pic of a shirtless Elon Musk, obviously meant to poke fun at his physique. Elon ultimately suspended Ye’s account (that he’s only had back since October), later clarifying it was because of the antisemitic stuff, not because of having his shirtless balls busted.
You’d think that after a month of playing with a new toy that spoiled billionaire Elon Musk would have gotten bored and moved on to something else to waste his time on. Maybe “manage” his two other businesses? Nah! The man who proved that money can’t buy you cool is still wiling his time away on Twitter, hoping that Nathan Fielder will see it and become his best friend. Shockingly, the only people Elon is managing to befriend throughout this fiasco are far right-winger messes. And due to the increase in hate speech and ugly content, some users believe that this might lead to Twitter being kicked off of Google and Apple’s app stores. But the meme-stealing CEO has a plan for that eventuality: he’ll make his own phone! Please, Elon, stop “fixing” things and go hang out with your kids or something!
Twitter continues its march into hell with the billionaire-cum-pathetic memelord Elon Musk at the helm. Having led a disastrous effort at making verification available for anyone then quickly taking that away once everyone roasted him for it, battling dangerous Elon Musk impersonators like Kathy Griffin, and firing practically everyone at Twitter for not being “hardcore” enough, Elon is still trying to make his version of a free speech Twitter happen. Apparently, his vision of truth and honesty includes bringing back former president and stable genius Donald Trump onto the platform. Everyone can finally log off Truth Social!!!!
Jimmy Fallon Asked Elon Musk To Shut Off The #RIPJimmyFallon Twitter Hashtag Since He’s Still Alive, But Elon Saw No Issue With It
Even though pandering Golden Retriever-type Jimmy Fallon almost died of the shame shivers that one time modern-day Madonna awkwardly flashed her paid-for oversized nalgas on The Tonight Show, he lived to over-laugh at literally everything his guests say another day. But despite the fact that Jimmy’s still alive, the hashtag #RIPJimmyFallon started trending on Twitter last night when many tweeters started using it mischievously with pics of people who aren’t actually Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy got Jimmy-mad (which probably isn’t actually very mad at all), and tweeted directly to Elon Musk, asking him to shut the whole thing down. However, Elon didn’t seem to see any issue with the blatant misinformation since misinformation and general dipshittery have recently emerged as the meat of Elon Musk’s Twitter™.
I’ve been passively enjoying the implosion of Twitter as much as the next person but Elon Musk is really making it difficult for us to differentiate between which desperate, impulsive, and unhinged decisions are real, and which are parody. And not for lack of a consistent policy on Blue Checks. Not when Elon himself has changed his profile picture to one where he’s wearing the little Last Samurai costume he rented for Heidi Klum’s Halloween party. He couldn’t even buy a date, it’s so sad. Just a grown man with too much money playing dress up and doing power poses on the red carpet like an 8-year-old boy in his new Christmas Underoos. So how are we supposed to know if the same guy who’s telling his employees they need to work 80-hour weeks, go into the office, and have to bring their own lunch from now on, also tweeted, “Twitter feels incredibly alive,”? You guys, I think he thinks we think he’s cool. I’m crying.
I think we all knew Twitter’s inevitable downfall would be coming soon after Elon Musk brought his permanent Scream mask face to the party to ruin it for everyone. After he purchased Twitter for the low, low price of $44 billion, he has been acting like the dorky kid who takes revenge on his former bullies every day (cue Kathy Griffin doing a new photoshoot with his head instead). And to add insult to injury, Tumblr is trolling Twitter by also selling $8 blue check marks, but theirs are more like blue middle fingers aimed directly at Elon.