Category: #tooktotwitter

Alyssa Milano Made Whoopi Goldberg Sigh On “The View” By Announcing She’s Sticking With Twitter

November 30, 2022 / Posted by:

We can’t credit Alyssa Milano for the creation of the #MeToo movement but we can acknowledge that she was one of the first celebrities to inspire my usage of the hashtag #TookToTwitter, which, despite my considerable efforts over the years to make that a thing, continues to languish from disuse, forever criminally underused and hanging by a thread much like the fate of Twitter itself since Elon Musk took over (or #TookTwitter, for those keeping track) and fired all the adults. But ever since Alyssa got a little bit of credit for helping #MeToo spread like wildfire on Twitter back in the early days of our current end times, she’s used the platform as a virtual soapbox (yes, her avatar is STILL standing on a literal one, megaphone in hand) for her burgeoning career as a leftist rabble-rouser. And she’s not going down without a fight.

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Twitter Is Running On The Fumes As Hundreds More Employees Jump Ship

November 18, 2022 / Posted by:

Over the past few days, doom-scrolling Twitter has taken on an entirely new meaning. It’s actually kind of been fun, but then again, I have none of Elon Musk’s beluga-hued skin in the game. But according to Business Insider, the Titanic memes and hashtags like #RIPTwitter, #Twitteroff, and #Twittershutdown being gleefully shared probably hit differently for the hundreds of employees who Elon hadn’t already fired as they watch Twitter sink, circling the very drain that Elon walked in with just three weeks before. All the while, Elon’s been working “morning to night, seven days a week,” doing everything in his power to assure the few remaining employees who hadn’t already resigned after yesterday’s ultimatum deadline that they’re a big joke to him by posting dank memes, featuring himself, at their expense, and locking everybody out of their offices until Monday.

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Jimmy Fallon Asked Elon Musk To Shut Off The #RIPJimmyFallon Twitter Hashtag Since He’s Still Alive, But Elon Saw No Issue With It

November 16, 2022 / Posted by:

Even though pandering Golden Retriever-type Jimmy Fallon almost died of the shame shivers that one time modern-day Madonna awkwardly flashed her paid-for oversized nalgas on The Tonight Show, he lived to over-laugh at literally everything his guests say another day. But despite the fact that Jimmy’s still alive, the hashtag #RIPJimmyFallon started trending on Twitter last night when many tweeters started using it mischievously with pics of people who aren’t actually Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy got Jimmy-mad (which probably isn’t actually very mad at all), and tweeted directly to Elon Musk, asking him to shut the whole thing down. However, Elon didn’t seem to see any issue with the blatant misinformation since misinformation and general dipshittery have recently emerged as the meat of Elon Musk’s Twitter™.

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Rose McGowan Called Oprah A “Lizard” And Says She Got Stung By A Murder Hornet

August 31, 2021 / Posted by:

Here it is, just a regular old Tuesday in America and Rose McGowan called Oprah Winfrey a lizard, and in a supposedly unrelated incident, got attacked by a murder hornet. Oprah, commander of beeeeeeeeeeeeeees, probably had nothing to do with Rose getting stung by a hornet because according to Rose, Oprah’s as fake as they come (I guess only Beyonce can control apian hordes). Rose tweeted one of the many old pictures of Oprah kicking it with Rose’s abuser Harvey Weinstein, accused her of “supporting a sick power structure for personal gain” and of “abandoning & destroyingRussell Simmons’ alleged victims of sexual assault. She did tag Oprah in her tweet, but the hornet thing happened the day before. The Mighty- O may be all-powerful in Hollywood, but she can’t time travel (as far as we know).

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Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For “He’s All That,” Which Jameela Jamil Thinks Looks Terrible

August 5, 2021 / Posted by:

The original She’s All That wasn’t really all that to begin with so people had low expectations for He’s All That, the gender-swapped remake starring TikToker Addison Rae, going in. Well, the trailer is here, and let’s just say expectations were met! Exceeded even, considering that Addison’s best adult friend Kourtney Kardashian pops up out of nowhere. No wonder Jameela Jamil #TookToTwitter to proclaim — “This looks objectively Fucking terrible.” And she’s right. The “nerd” (Tanner Buchanan) Addison makes over doesn’t even wear glasses! I’m like, come on. How else are we supposed to know a transformation has occurred? Make! It! Make! Sense!

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Sinead O’Connor Is Retiring From Recording And Touring

June 7, 2021 / Posted by:

Sinead O’Connor is officially OVER. IT. After a week of telling more alleged horror stories about Prince, Sinead downed a few whiskey drinks and took to Twitter to announce that she is retiring from the music biz, including touring and recording. Her upcoming album No Veteran Dies Alone will be her final release. Sinead says at age 54 she’s “gotten older” and she’s tired of playing clubs with no toilets and pissin’ in alleys (fair). She assures fans it’s not sad news; it’s actually “staggeringly beautiful news,” and “a warrior knows when he or she should retreat.” Deep.

Sinead adds that all her 2020 shows that were Corona-postponed and rescheduled for 2022 will also be canceled. So that idyllic post-COVID world we all imagined… where we can go to an indoor Sinead O’Connor concert with all our friends and family? That dream is dead. Continue reading

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