Category: #tooktotwitter

Kanye West Claims He’s Going To Help Taylor Swift Get Her Masters Back

September 19, 2020 / Posted by:

Lyricist, master wit and completely competent Presidential candidate Kanye West once said about his on-again, off-again arch-nemesis, Taylor Swift: “I made that bitch famous”. Well, looks like he’s going above and beyond once again for his “protégé,” because after getting out of Twitter jail, he kept on, kept on, on Twitter and vowed to work with “family friendScooter Braun to get Taylor her masters back after they were famously acquired by Braun and Scott Borchetta in their Big Machine Label Group purchase last summer. Why do I have a feeling that Scooter just hit the block button Kanye’s number?

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Kanye West Says He Won’t Release New Music Until Sony And Universal Release Him From His Contract

September 15, 2020 / Posted by:

For those keeping track, Donda: With Child is still undelivered when by this point, Kanye West should already be thinking about getting on a waiting list if he wants it to get into a good preschool. But I get it, Kanye’s been very, very, very busy. Not only is he running a [insert adjective of your choice] presidential campaign, according to a slew of recent tweets, he’s also Moses, Nat Turner, and “the 2nd richest black man in America” who is tirelessly working to free his people. His “people” being exclusive to any other rich Black man in America. So you’ll have to excuse him if his album won’t be out until Sony and Universal release him from his contract and Drake apologizes to him for, I don’t know, being richer than him I guess. Folks, as usual, it’s a mess.

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Elon Musk Has Opinions On Gender Pronouns––And So Does Grimes

July 25, 2020 / Posted by:

Anytime I ever see a Tesla speeding down the street, I think to myself, “they’re kinda nice cars, I should get one someday” (Tesla would totally accept my proposed payment plan of $50/month over 10,000 years, right?) But then, as quickly as I begin fantasizing about my custom Hello Kitty plush interiors, I’m reminded that Elon Musk is a cartoon supervillain come to life. And yesterday, Elon must have been bored and decided to fuck with people, because he shared his unprovoked thoughts on gender pronouns. And you can pretty much guess how it went.    

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Kanye West Shows Us That 2020 Can Get Worse By Announcing He’s Running For President

July 5, 2020 / Posted by:

Just when you thought the weighted blanket covered in dogshit that is 2020 couldn’t get any heavier, in comes Kanye West, the living, breathing embodiment of humility and grace to announce that he is running for President––just a few months before voting is set to take place. Oh yes, this is totally not a ploy to get his best friend Donald Trump re-elected. But when are we going to all find out that we died on January 1st and this is hell? 

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Armie Hammer Went On A Blocking Spree On Twitter After Criticism Of His Posts About The BLM Protests

June 3, 2020 / Posted by:

The Caribbean’s most dedicated social justice warrior in the category of rich white people who fled the pandemic, Armie Hammer, has been wielding the block hammer on Twitter of late. It seems that while Armie has heard the message that now is the time to amplify Black voices, he’s not applying the principle in his activism.

According to ONTD, Twitter users have accused Armie of blocking fans who tried to argue with him, saying he is only listening to “people he respects and admires.” And over on Instagram, Armie lashed out with insults after he was criticized for highlighting “copoganda,” feel-good images of cops kneeling in front of protesters, on his Instagram stories. Armie it seems, was not content to just sit there and eat his conch stew.

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Khloe Kardashian Responded To Rumors That She’s Pregnant With Tristan Thompson’s Baby

May 13, 2020 / Posted by:

No, they have not come up with a cure for COVID-19, this news is even bigger. Khloe Kardashian, of The Kalabasas Kardashians feat Kris Jenner, star of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, mother, mogul (?), sister, friend, is disgusted (!) by people talking about her personal business, calling them “sick.” On an April episode of KUWTK, a show celebrating the personal business of the Kardashians, Khloe discussed some rather personal business, saying that she was considering relieving her ex-boyfriend and father of her child, Tristan Thomas, of some of his sperm for her own personal use so that their baby True might have a sibling. As you’ll no doubt recall, Khloe and Tristan broke up after he kissed Khloe’s best TV friend Jordyn Woods, and then Khloe broke up with her too. Well now the unthinkable has happened. People have commented upon her personal business, daring to speculate if the thing she talked about on TV had come to fruition. It is indeed a sick, sad world.

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