Category: Where Is Shelly?
Leah Remini Says Danny Masterson’s Legal Team Tried To Get Her Removed From The Courtroom On The First Day Of His Rape Retrial (UPDATE)
Leah Remini has entered the chat. Late last year, Danny Masterson was tried on sexual assault charges in Los Angeles, and it ended with a hung jury. Prosecutors decided to retry him, and his retrial started this week. And the first day of his retrial got a special guest appearance by Leah Remini, supreme slayer of Scientology and David Miscavige’s worse nightmare. Cinemablend says that Leah showed up in court on Monday to support the three former Scientologists who have accused Danny of sexual assault and Scientology of trying to shut them up. And surprisingly (not at all), Scientology goons didn’t want her there.
Scientology Leader David Miscavige Seems To Have Gone Missing As Lawyers Try To Serve Him With A Trafficking Lawsuit From Past Members
Where in the world is David Miscavige? The leader of the Church of Scientology is currently as hard to find as his wife, Shelly Miscavige. While Shelly has been alleged to be missing since August 2007, David is freshly MIA, and it seems there’s a good reason for him to hide. Lawyers are currently trying to serve the 62-year-old head bitch of Co$ with a lawsuit alleging that he was involved in child trafficking. Someone check Tom Cruise‘s COVID cruise ship that he rented–I’m sure David could hide there!
Golden Globes Host Jerrod Carmichael Asked The Big Question Of The Night: Where Is Shelly?
Okay, well, the second big question of the night since the first was, “How much pandering can the Hollywood Foreign Press Association do to pull themselves out of the disastrous hole they dug for themselves?” The show’s host, comedian Jerrod Carmichael, addressed that shit in his opening monologue by bluntly saying, “I’m here because I’m Black.” That got big laughs. But later in the night, Jerrod brought out the three Golden Globes that Tom Cruise returned to sender because the Jesus of Scientology is way too good to be associated with such a shady and diabolical organization. Jerrod then dropped a “Where is Shelly?” joke, and some laughed and clapped, but others groaned or stayed uncomfortably quiet. The audience obviously got the memo that it’s now okay to laugh at what a mess the HFPA is, but there was no memo that it’s okay to laugh at Scientology disses. Stick to one cause, Jerrod!
The Jury Has Gone Into Deliberation In The Danny Masterson’s Sexual Assault Trial
Yesterday, final arguments were heard in the Los Angeles criminal sexual assault trial against Danny Masterson, in which Danny is charged with three counts of forcible rape, between 2001 and 2003, by three women, all former Scientologists. And although Danny may have had the best legal representation money can buy, presumably thanks to the most lucrative “church” rummage sale in the history of the earth and beyond, even if they managed to sell all of the props from Battlefield Earth and every single one of Tom Cruise’s signed apple crates, it may not have been enough to persuade the jury of his innocence as they move into deliberations.
Tom Cruise Will Reportedly Make At Least $100 Million From “Top Gun: Maverick”
Despite the massive boycott (okay, by “massive” I mean just me) against Top Gun: Maverick for not including Kelly McGillis yet giving us the poster douche for “I Need An Adult!” (read: Miles Teller with a mustache), it has become a massive hit. Personally, I’m saving my coins for the porn parody Power Top Gun: Mavdick and its follow-up Bossy Bottom Gun, but many did not, and it’s made over $1 billion worldwide since its release in May. It’s also Tom Cruise’s biggest money-making movie, and because of this and his deal, Little Alien Lord Tommy has become even richer. But still, I’m with the talking Michael Myers’ Party City mask that is Mickey Rourke. That mega-rich trick who has the biggest movie of the year is “irrelevant!”
Mickey Rourke Called Tom Cruise “Irrelevant” On “Piers Morgan Uncensored”
New Suppressive Person just dropped! Piers Morgan tried to remake Battlefield Earth in his studio by inviting Mickey Rourke on his show, Piers Morgan Uncensored, where he glibly goaded him into talking shit about Tom Cruise. Mickey, who appears to be coming for Bruce Willis’ retracted bulk Razzie nomination with 10 dubious-looking IMDB credits in either pre or post-production slated for 2023, told Piers that he thinks Tom is “irrelevant in [his] world.” Considering that Tom’s practically a God in his, this is not the War of the Worlds remake we need right now. But I suppose it’s one we deserve for throwing all our little dollars at Top Gun: Maverik this summer. Mickey also accused Tom of “doing the same f’ing part for 35 years,” and said he wants to be an actor more like “Monty Cliff, or Brando back in the day,” which is encouraging. We might be able to avoid a full-scale intergalactic conflict by gently encouraging Mickey to look in a mirror and telling him what year it is.