Candace Cameron Bure reminded everyone she won’t be flying any rainbow flags over at her new network Great American Family EVER because she wants to focus on “traditional marriage “or some bullshit. Candace was asked during a Wall Street Journal interview if GAC would ever make a Christmas movie starring a same-sex couple. Kirk Cameron’s sister in blood and sanctimony burped out, “I think that Great American Family will keep traditional marriage at the core.” In response to that, Hilarie Burton came out swinging with words of support for the LGBTQ+ community. Now Candace’s summertime arch-nemesis JoJo Siwa is ready for tound two, expressing her disappointment. But this time, she’s receiving assistance from Candace’s Fuller House co-star Jodie Sweetin, who basically took one look at the WSJ interview and immediately said, “How Rude!”
The Juicy Celebrity Feud Factory must be on summer hiatus, because this milquetoast one just keeps dragging on. Last week, Dance Moms alum/tween girl idol/walking glowstick JoJo Siwa made a TikTok outlining several of her celeb encounters and revealed that Candace Cameron Bure, of Full/Fuller House and Hallmark Christmas movie fame, had been rude to her. At that point, she gave no further context, leaving her followers intrigued and prompting Candace to post a Bible verse–which let’s be real, she would have probably posted anyway, because Candace gonna Candace. But being called “rude” must have really frosted DJ Tanner’s tips, because she gave JoJo a call to find out what she did that upset her. People speculated that maybe the incident had something to do with JoJo recently coming out as gay and Candace being uber Christian, but it had nothing to do with that. Apparently, Candace found out that she snubbed an 11-year-old JoJo when she asked for a photo on the Fuller House premiere red carpet and that it was a “rough experience” for JoJo. Apologies were exchanged and all seemed well, until Candace’s daughter, Natasha Bure, stepped into the ring by posting an Instagram Story crafted to snatch JoJo’s bow and defend her mother’s honor.
Yesterday JoJo Siwa declared war on Candace Cameron Bure when she identified her as the rudest celebrity she’d ever met in a TikTok. JoJo gave zero details as to why she thinks DJ Tanner is a rude biotch, but some guessed it had to do with the fact that the 19-year-old came out as gay last year. And, since 46-year-old Candace is a super conservative “sister in Christ” (according to her Instagram bio), maybe God has something to do with it. Sister Candace has yet to officially respond to JoJo’s allegations, but she did post a Bible verse to her Instagram Stories: “Trust the Lord Always,” with a note that it came from Isaiah 26:4. Wait a sec, lemme check my Bible… OK, here it is in full: “Trust that the Lord will punish shit-talking Rainbow Brite lesbians.” Jesus Christ!
Since JoJo Siwa is like a come-to-life version of Rainbow Brite, I can’t imagine anyone ever having anything mean or evil to say within her presence, but then I had to remind myself that Candace Cameron Bure still exists. Apparently, throughout her young career, JoJo has met many celebrities, however, the one who stuck out the most was Candace, who at one time needed late icon Bob Saget to step in and let everyone know she’s not so bad. Unfortunately, he’s no longer with us, so after JoJo’s zero-star Yelp review of Candace’s personality yielded a “Would Not Recommend”, it’s safe to say everyone should avoid Candace at all costs. And I’m sure DJ Tanner’s alleged rudeness had nothing to do with JoJo’s coming out last year.
Fox’s So You Think You Can Dance started up again on May 18 after taking a break to let viewers’ eardrums heal from Mary Murphy’s screeches pounding them into grounded-up eardrum meat. The last season, which was season 16, aired in 2019 and the 17th season featured a new judging panel made up of Stephen “tWitch” Boss, a ponytail-less JoJo Siwa, and Justin Timberlake’s Wednesday matinee understudy Matthew Morrison (aka creepy teacher extraordinaire Mr. Schue from Glee). But after just two episodes, Matthew was told, “So you think you can dance out the exit door?”, because he has jazz-walked off of the SYTCD stage. The reason he gave is that he did not “follow competition protocols,” and the rest of his statement makes it sound like he got too friendly with at least one contestant. What a Mr. Schue thing to do.
Last autumn Gay Cupid almost hung up his gay bow when JoJo Siwa and her girlfriend of less than a year, Kylie Prew, broke up. Noooo! They were supposed to be forever soulmates! The lesbian version of Heartstopper! But, don’t worry, KyJo-stans. Yesterday, 18-year-old JoJo shared the happy news that she and Kylie were back together. And just like that… Gay Cupid got his groove back.