Category: It’s Too Early For Christmas

Open Post: Hosted By Camila Cabello Making Fun Of Herself For How She Pronounces “Christmas”

November 23, 2022 / Posted by:

I guess all that making out with Shawn Mendes in front of the paparazzi really did a number on Camila Cabello‘s tongue dexterity because when she covered I’ll Be Home For Christmas last year, people were a bit confused by how she was pronouncing the holiday’s name as though she’s a toddler with a burnt tongue who just had dental surgery. Not one to shy from attention, Camila leaned in and poked fun at her own inability to say Christmas, getting over 2 million likes on TikTok.

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Mariah Carey Loses Her Bid To Trademark The Phrase “Queen Of Christmas”

November 16, 2022 / Posted by:

Like a rooster announcing the morning, so too does Mariah Carey beckon in the coming Christmas every November 1st. Sadly for her, she won’t be able to do so with exclusive trademark rights to the title “Queen of Christmas” since the U.S. Trademark Trial and Appeal Board rejected Mariah’s prior request. Well, she can’t cash in as big as she wanted to, but at least Dolly Parton still thinks of Mariah as the Queen of Christmas!

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Gwyneth Paltrow Has Unleashed Her GOOP Christmas Gift Guide, Featuring A $28,500 BDSM Chair

November 2, 2022 / Posted by:

Now that Mariah Carey has given us all the thumbs up to start our Christmas shopping, Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop have burped up their gift list. And since this is Goopy Paltrow we’re talking about, it’s, of course, filled with ridiculous shit, like a BDSM chair that costs as much as a Toyota Prius. But if you’re into masochism, save yourself the $28k and just read any article on Goop. Instant pain and cringe! Now, most people outside of Gwyneth’s tax bracket will be receiving well wishes and Dollar Tree greeting cards. But in her mind, inflation is just a four-letter word created to keep the unfortunate exempt from the luxury she’s accustomed to. And once you take a look at her list of suggested holiday items, you’ll wonder why Santa didn’t shove the gift of common sense into her stocking last year.

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Open Post: Hosted By Mariah Carey Announcing That It’s Christmas Season

November 1, 2022 / Posted by:

Now that the macabre and gore of Halloween has descended back into the pits of Hell, the Mistress of Mistletoe, Mariah Carey, yodeled out her holiday siren’s wail to announce, like the Peanuts gang, that Christmastiiimeee…is here. Well, not really, but as soon as those pumpkins get turned into pumpkin pie, Mariah is ready to straddle her reindeer to spread cheer across the land for weeks. And in tribute to her most lucrative holiday, Mariah wants us all to glaze over Thanksgiving and sing Christmas carols for the next sixty days until the new year rolls in to give us the reset we all need.

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Mariah Carey Faces Backlash From Singers Darlene Love and Elizabeth Chan Over The Trademark Rights To “Queen of Christmas”

August 16, 2022 / Posted by:

I’m pretty sure as the holidays sneak up on us, Mariah Carey is preparing her vocal cords to belt out All I Want For Christmas Is You for the ga-jillionth time. However, this year she plans on giving herself the gift that keeps on giving; a trademark.  Recently, Mariah spoke of filing for legal rights over the term Queen of Christmas. However, two other lady singers, Darlene Love and Elizabeth Chan, have also been associated with the term Queen of Christmas and they are not going to allow Mariah and her Grinch-like ways to capitalize on a term she has no direct rights to.

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Mariah Carey Has Been Sued For “All I Want For Christmas Is You” By A Country Singer

June 5, 2022 / Posted by:

Queen of the Christmas season and bringer of misery to all mall workers out there, Mariah Carey is facing a little legal challenge over one of her songs. Nothing special, really. Just the megahit All I Want For Christmas Is You! The leader of the lambs has been slapped with a lawsuit from songwriter Andy Stone who claims that Mimi essentially stole it from him. Guess Andy is looking for an early Christmas present in the form of a big fat paycheck!

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