Night Crumbs
Ghost fans, you in danger, girl! (And I’m in danger too of going to the worst part of HELL for daring to sloppily Photoshop Channing Tatum’s mug over the late, great Patrick Swayze.) Channing Tatum has threatened all of us with a bad time by letting us know that his production company owns the rights to Ghost, and they’re planning to update it. Channing says they want to get rid of the original’s “problematic stereotypes” and that he may take on the Patrick Swayze role. Great, I can’t wait to see the “updated” horny pottery scene where whoever plays the Demi Moore role stops for a second and wonders, “Why is the music suddenly changing from Unchained Melody to Pony, and why is my ghost boyfriend suddenly gyrating on my pottery wheel?” – Jezebel
If you need the manufacturers of Botox and Sun-In, they’ll be on the bathroom floor, crying in the fetal position while worrying about their futures, because Todd and Julie Chrisley have checked into the chokey to begin serving their sentence for tax fraud – Entertainment Tonight
Selena Gomez And Drew Taggart Of The Chainsmokers Are “Having A Lot Of Fun Together”
Despite the obvious similarities, Selena Gomez and the rapper T.I. are not really all that much alike. Even though they wear the same shoe size, when it comes to accepting smooches from a chain smoker, Selena is by far the more liberal of the two. According to Us Weekly, Selena has no issue cleaning out a dirty ashtray with her tongue and has been “having a lot of fun” with her new boyfriend, Drew Taggart, 1/2 of the EDM duo The Chainsmokers and presumably the 4th wheel on the SMS Wifey, Brooklyn, and Nicola Peltz-Beckham’s yacht.
Noel Gallagher And Sara MacDonald Are Done After 22 Years Together, And Liam Gallagher Cryptically Tweeted About It
Bloviating bell end Noel Gallagher spent the better part of 30 years feuding with his brother/former Oasis bandmate, Liam Gallagher, and they haven’t fucked with each other in about ten years after Noel quit the band. But, Noel and his second wife Sara MacDonald announced yesterday that they’re going their separate ways after being together for 22 years and married for 12. Shocking; he always seemed so placid! Ever since the dissolution of Oasis, rumors swirled that Sara’s contentious relationship with Liam was a factor in Noel leaving the band. Liam has wanted the band to reunite, and it seems like the divorce news spurred him to attempt to catch Noel’s attention by tweeting out songs he’d probably curated for this very occasion. Noel was also busy today releasing the first single from his band Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds‘ upcoming album.
Open Post: Hosted By A Young Colin Farrell Modeling A Thong
An incredibly important video from 1994 was recently unearthed by a TV archivist from Meath, Ireland. Greg Molloy was digitizing some old donated VHS tapes when he stumbled upon a clip of a then-18-year-old Colin Farrell modeling a red thong on an Irish daytime show. The Irish Sun released stills from Colin’s long-forgotten appearance last April, but it wasn’t until last week that we got the full video in all its glory. I can safely say that this is the most exciting historical discovery since archaeologists found King Tut’s tomb one-hundred years ago. A win for historians and horndogs alike! Continue reading
Madonna Announced A World Tour To Celebrate The 40th Anniversary Of Her Career
This year marks the 40th anniversary of when 64-year-old Madonna first gyrated her way into our hearts, and yes, you SHOULD feel as old as I do right now. Because whenever I think of Madonna‘s ‘Like A Virgin’ video, I say to myself, “That just came out yesterday, right?” Sure, if 14,610 days somehow equate to the actual yesterday of twenty-four hours ago. But none of that matters because the good news is Madge wants to pay homage to her longstanding career by packing up her whips, fishnets, and face fillers to hit the road for a brand new international tour titled The Celebration Tour. And with the number of millions she’s about to make, there will definitely be a whole lot to celebrate once it’s over.
Prince Harry Scoffs At Jeremy Clarkson’s Most Recent Attempt To Apologize For What He Wrote About Meghan Markle In The Sun
Winnie the Pooh is OUT as Jeremy Clarkson’s apology ghostwriter. Jeremy has issued a new public “mea culpa with bells on” to Instagram because “the people who called for it” were unmoved by Jeremy’s initial “Oh dear. I’ve rather put my foot in it” plea for absolution he posted on Twitter addressing the backlash he received over his column in The Sun in which he stated he hates Meghan Markle “on a cellular level” and how he fantasizes “of the day when she is made to parade naked through the streets of every town in Britain while the crowds chant, ‘Shame!’ and throw lumps of excrement at her.” Frankly, I’m shocked Pooh even took that gig to begin with. We don’t need Britain’s #1 tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff ghostwriter associated with the likes of Jeremy. Jerm’s on his own now, and unfortunately, he still can’t get the job done. SilenCED no more; Prince Harry’s not having it.