Category: Objectively Sexy

Janelle Monáe Has Gone Viral For Her Sexy New Music Video (And For A Clip Of Her Flashing Her Titties)

May 12, 2023 / Posted by:

Janelle Monáe has a new album coming out next month, The Age of Pleasure, and she just released the video for her new single, “Lipstick Lover”. Billboard describes the sexy vid as “a savory visual highlighting [Janelle’s] adoration for women”. Translation: so many butts, so many boobs. Obviously, this entire post is NSFW (NippleS & Fannies [not the British kind], Woohoo)!

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Open Post: Hosted By A Young Colin Farrell Modeling A Thong

January 17, 2023 / Posted by:

An incredibly important video from 1994 was recently unearthed by a TV archivist from Meath, Ireland. Greg Molloy was digitizing some old donated VHS tapes when he stumbled upon a clip of a then-18-year-old Colin Farrell modeling a red thong on an Irish daytime show. The Irish Sun released stills from Colin’s long-forgotten appearance last April, but it wasn’t until last week that we got the full video in all its glory. I can safely say that this is the most exciting historical discovery since archaeologists found King Tut’s tomb one-hundred years ago. A win for historians and horndogs alike! Continue reading

Nyle DiMarco Thinks He Probably Has Coronavirus But Declined To Get Tested

March 23, 2020 / Posted by:

This coronabitch truly does not care if you have cheekbones for the gods or a blackhead riddled inverted troll dick, she is coming for most of us one way or another. And because tests for COVID-19 are more precious than gold at the moment, the sexy and the ugly amoung us (not to mention the subjective in between) may never be sure if the novel coronavirus actually paid us a visit or not (especially true for the asymptomatic). Take OBJECTIVELY SEXY Nyle DiMarco for example. Yesterday, Nyle posted a video on Instagram letting people know that while he’s feeling better now, he was “really sick” the past few days, and was experiencing symptoms consistent with COVID-19 infection. Nyle’s a Deaf actor and activist who has won Dancing With The Stars and America’s Next Top Model, which was presumably enough to grant him access to a test. But even though Nyle’s pretty sure he has it, he declined the test stating “sick patients need it more than I do.” You know how the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes when he did a mitzvah? Well that just happened to my pussy.

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