British TV Presenter Jeremy Clarkson Is “Horrified” That That People Are Horrified By His Horrifying Remarks About Meghan Markle
As we know, the British press can’t seem to get enough Meghan Markle in their diets, and some have resorted to scavenging the deepest, darkest recesses of their minds for imaginary scenarios upon which to feast. You know like when a cartoon character is starving to death and they picture their friend as a succulent roast chicken then act all surprised when they bite into a juicy thigh and Piers Fucking Morgan screams “ouch!” and all of a sudden everybody’s looking at them like they’re some sort of freak? Well, according to Reuters, that’s just what happened to Jeremy Clarkson, that exact kind of freak. A parched and pathetic Jeremy woke up this morning “horrified to have caused so much hurt” after sharing that he doesn’t sleep at night because he’s up “grinding [his] teeth and dreaming of the day when [Meghan] is made to parade naked through the streets of every town in Britain while the crowds chant, ‘Shame!’ and throw lumps of excrement at her.” And it’s not like he just said this at his local Wendy’s drive-thru either. His excrement-forward fanfic was actually printed in The Sun!
Jeremy, who was fired from his hosting gig on Top Gear for assault, assaulted sense and sensibilities when he dedicated his Sunday column in The Sun to his irrational hatred of that lady from Suits. I don’t even know why all these old British dudes are watching Suits. Is it even streaming anywhere right now? So weird. Reuters reports:
LONDON, Dec 19 (Reuters) – British television presenter Jeremy Clarkson said on Monday he was “horrified to have caused so much hurt” after a column he wrote in the Sun newspaper about Prince Harry’s wife Meghan attracted more than 6,000 complaints.
In a column published on Friday, Clarkson, who gained worldwide fame as presenter of motoring show “Top Gear”, wrote of Meghan: “I hate her. Not like I hate (Scottish First Minister) Nicola Sturgeon or (serial killer) Rose West. I hate her on a cellular level.”
“At night, I’m unable to sleep as I lie there, grinding my teeth and dreaming of the day when she is made to parade naked through the streets of every town in Britain while the crowds chant, ‘Shame!’ and throw lumps of excrement at her.”
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, as Harry and Meghan are officially known, stepped down from royal duties in March 2020, saying they wanted to forge new lives in the United States away from media harassment.
In a six-part Netflix documentary series which concluded last week, Meghan spoke about her treatment by the media leaving her feeling suicidal.
Britain’s press standards regulator, the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO), said it had so far received “over 6,000 complaints about the article in question”.
Oh, I get it. It’s THAT lady from Suits. The one that married Prince Harry and then they did that show on Netflix about why they moved or something. Here’s Jeremy’s Tweet of Contrition which I’m pretty sure was ghost written by the same person who write Prince Andrew‘s “I’m appalled” statement of yore (fun fact: their ghostwriter is Winnie THEE Pooh!)
Oh dear. I’ve rather put my foot in it. In a column I wrote about Meghan, I made a clumsy reference to a scene in Game of Thrones and this has gone down badly with a great many people. I’m horrified to have caused so much hurt and I shall be more careful in future.
— Jeremy Clarkson (@JeremyClarkson) December 19, 2022
Sorry, still doesn’t make a lick of sense that any of these old creeps would care. But Jeremy does care. Deeply. That’s why he was SHOCKED to learn that despite his assertion that “everyone who’s my age thinks the same way,” not everyone who’s his age is Piers Fucking Morgan. According to The Guardian:
A Jeremy Clarkson column in the Sun about the Duchess of Sussex has provoked outcry online, with social media users labelling it “vile”, “horrific” and “abusive”.
The comments have drawn widespread condemnation. The comedian John Bishop tweeted that the remarks were a “blatant appeal to incite humiliation and violence on a woman”.
The presenter Carol Vorderman tweeted: “NO, Jeremy Clarkson. Not on any level, in any circumstance, is it OK to write this stuff about any woman and absolutely NO to ‘everyone who’s my age thinks the same’.”
Even Jeremy’s own daughter, who co-hosts a podcast called Should I Delete That?, wrote in an Instagram post “I want to make it very clear that I stand against everything my dad said about Meghan Markle and I remain standing in support of those who are targeted with online hatred.” As for PFM, both he and Jeremy, who “are famously known for going back and forth with each other in a friendly feud,” (via Express) recently attended a lunch alongside Queen Consort Camilla. And since Camilla also happens to be the lady from Suits‘ estranged mother-in-law, it’s caused quite a stir amongst Suitsers (that’s what PFM and Jeremy call their fandom, isn’t that cute?)
😮WOW! Meghan Markle’s abusers Piers Morgan & Jeremy Clarkson guests of QUEEN CAMILLA! Yet she’s meant to stand up for abused women?! Has she seen how her step daughter has been treated by the press? So brazen. This is the tide Harry & Meghan are swimming against#WeLoveYouMeghan https://t.co/8a1PwCODKV pic.twitter.com/I9zJxwzVbR
— Colin McFarlane🙏🏽🇺🇦 (@colinmcfarlane) December 18, 2022
However, according to Newsweek, despite reports to the contrary, the lunch was not hosted by Camila and took place several days before Jeremy’s weird wet dream was published. Personally, I still don’t get the obsession. It’s like, if Jeremy hates Meghan this much, WHY in the world did he drop $80 on a Blue-Ray box set of Suits: The Complete Series? It’s not even formatted for the UK!
Pic: Jonathan Brady/PA Images/INSTARi/Cover Images