Night Crumbs
Ghost fans, you in danger, girl! (And I’m in danger too of going to the worst part of HELL for daring to sloppily Photoshop Channing Tatum’s mug over the late, great Patrick Swayze.) Channing Tatum has threatened all of us with a bad time by letting us know that his production company owns the rights to Ghost, and they’re planning to update it. Channing says they want to get rid of the original’s “problematic stereotypes” and that he may take on the Patrick Swayze role. Great, I can’t wait to see the “updated” horny pottery scene where whoever plays the Demi Moore role stops for a second and wonders, “Why is the music suddenly changing from Unchained Melody to Pony, and why is my ghost boyfriend suddenly gyrating on my pottery wheel?” – Jezebel
If you need the manufacturers of Botox and Sun-In, they’ll be on the bathroom floor, crying in the fetal position while worrying about their futures, because Todd and Julie Chrisley have checked into the chokey to begin serving their sentence for tax fraud – Entertainment Tonight
Thirty-five-time Oscar winner (don’t fact-check me on that) Meryl Streep is joining the third season of the show that every one of my aunties keeps telling me to watch, Only Murders in the Building. So I guess that in the third season, the main crime won’t be murder but will be scenery chewing – Just Jared
Speaking of third seasons, here’s the trailer for the third season of the show that always looks like Space Robo Cop to me (aka The Mandalorian) – Lainey Gossip
Cheryl Burke has won full custody of her Frenchie after a court fight with her ex Matthew Lawrence – Celebitchy
Jeremy Renner has been released from the hospital and beginning his long road to recovery at home. And Jeremy may be down and out, but nothing is going to keep him from a little thing called “promoting his Paramount+ show” – SOW
Obviously, the only correct answer to the question, “Whatever happened to the USA Network?” is: It hasn’t been the same since they canceled Up All Night with Rhonda Shear! – Pajiba
Pic: Paramount Pictures/INSTARImages