Noel Gallagher Quits That Bitch

Noel Gallagher packed up his ego (in 3 dozen trunks and 25 refrigerator boxes) and walked out on Oasis last night and he claims this is the end of the end.

Oasis was supposed to play the Rock en Siene festival in Paris last night, but a few minutes before, the crowd was told that the show was canceled due to an “altercation” with the band members. That altercation turned out to be a cunt battle between Noel and Liam. Yeah, squeeze your ass cheeks and try to feel surprised.

The Sun says that one of their regular fights turned into a an all-out bitch war ending with Liam smashing one of Noel’s guitars. That was Noel’s cue to exit Liam’s LIFE. Noel didn’t miss one beat and quickly posted this little queef-covered statement on Oasis’ website (I guess they didn’t lock his ass out yet):

“It’s with some sadness and great relief to tell you that I quit Oasis tonight. People will write and say what they like, but I simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer.”

Apologies to all the people who bought tickets for the shows in Paris, Konstanz and Milan.”

And this is how Liam feels about it all:

I think it’s safe to say that we all co-sign that response.