Night Crumbs
Bonnie Bartlett of Little House on the Prairie and St. Elsewhere has been married for 72 years (!!!!) to William Daniels, who was also on St. Elsewhere, was the voice of KITT on Knight Rider, and later played Mr. Feeny in Boy Meets World. In her memoir, Middle of the Rainbow, 93-year-old Bonnie writes that early on in their marriage, she and 95-year-old Willy kept things open, and they were allowed to pass their fuck parts to others. But the open marriage became a closed one in the 1970s when her husband’s relationship with a producer “devastated” her. It’s a good thing for Bonnie that she put an end to her and Willy’s community crotch fun times in the 70s because if she didn’t, the 80s would’ve been a mess for her. Just think of all the mechanophiliacs who’d throw themselves at him, hoping he’d do the KITT voice in bed – People
Voting for the 2023 Oscar nominations ended yesterday (nominations will be announced on Tuesday), and ahead of all that, there was a last-minute push from several Hollywood actors to nominate Andrea Riseborough for Best Actress for her performance in To Leslie. I swear, if this messes with Michelle Yeoh’s Oscar chances… I’ll do nothing but scream “fuuuuuck” from my sofa on Oscar night but still! – Pajiba
Michael Jackson’s Estate Is Producing A Biopic Directed By Antoine Fuqua
Deadline reports that director Antoine Fuqua has signed on to direct Michael, an upcoming movie about the extremely fucked up life of Michael Jackson. The question is, what kind of biopic will this be? A (truly) white-washed “he was the King of Pop!” version? Or a no-holds-barred portrait of a guy who (allegedly) did some really horrible shit? Sources tell Deadline that Michael will “deal squarely” with the pedophile accusations, but I’m not expecting much. After all, this shit is co-produced by the executors of Michael’s estate. And those guys weren’t exactly fans of HBO’s documentary Leaving Neverland.
Shakira Reportedly Found Out Gerard Pique Was Cheating When Someone Ate Her Jam While She Was Away
I’m just going to assume someone else has already made a The Jam Don’t Lie joke instead, as I report that Shakira supposedly found out that her partner was cheating on her after noticing someone had been dipping into her strawberry jam while she was away. And he don’t eat jam. Detective La Toya better start using that XXL magnifying glass to examine the Help Wanted section because Shakira has stolen her gig. Not only that, Hercule Perot, Miss Marple, Benoit Blanc, Sherlock Holmes, Jessica Fletcher, Bunk & McNutty, Martha Stewart, and Bonne Maman were all found dead with a crinkled-up note on their chests with the words “The Jam Don’t Lie” written in lipstick, signed “Detective Shakira.”
Christina Applegate Checked Someone On Social Media Who Alleged Her Changed Appearance Is From Bad Plastic Surgery, Not Her Multiple Sclerosis
Christina Applegate just stepped back into the spotlight after coming to grips with her 2021 multiple sclerosis diagnosis. She powered through worsening mobility to finish shooting her Netflix show, Dead To Me and accepted her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with the help of her family and friends. So, it was probably already a challenge for her to attend this year’s Critics Choice Awards, where she was nominated for “best actress in a comedy series” due to her physical limitations. And it surely didn’t help that some trolls (who themselves probably look like stank bags of milk by choice and without disease as an excuse) commented on her appearance after pictures of her at the event hit social media. So, Christina engaged with one of them via DM and shared the interaction on Twitter.
Open Post: Hosted By Waffle House Telling TikTokers To Stop Ordering Off-Menu Hacks
Anyone fortunate enough to be intoxicated in the wee hours of the morning below the Mason-Dixon line understands how important Waffle House is. And for all of you Yankees not in the know, think of Waffle House as IHOP, but cheaper, quicker, and featuring waffles as the Beyonce of their menu. So you can imagine this life-saving beacon filled with Hangover Helper delights wants to ensure its menu does not succumb to this new generation of entitlement. And in that respect, Waffle House wants everyone who believes they are doing their brand a favor by creating options that are NOT on the menu to stop it immediately because they refuse to re-create any greedy menu hacks posted on TikTok today, tomorrow or ever.
Madonna Is Jesus And The Virgin Mary In Next Month’s Vanity Fair In Italy, Spain, And France
Yesterday Madonna announced that she was embarking on an international tour to celebrate four decades in the music biz. The Celebration World Tour doesn’t begin until July, so until then, we’re probably going to see a lot of Madge. Today kicks things off with the reveal of Madonna’s new Vanity Fair cover/photoshoot. Billboard reports that the 64-year-old will appear in next month’s “Icon Issue” for the magazine’s French, Spanish, and Italian editions. All predominantly Catholic countries! The perfect audience for some classic maybe-excommunicated Madonna envelope-pushing. On the cover, she is a weeping Virgin Mary. Inside, she is Jesus at an all-female last supper. I don’t remember JC or the OG Madonna having so many fillers, but suspend your disbelief!