Yesterday, Ellen DeGeneres was finally released from her multi-million dollar jail cell and returned to the Warner Bros. studio lot to film the 18th season of Ellen. But before Ellen could celebrate, she had to first execute an apology that would sound convincing enough to keep people from switching the channel to a Ninja blender infomercial. It was up to the viewer to look into Ellen’s eyes and determine whether she was really sorry, or just really fucking sorry she didn’t make Ellen employees take a blood oath to never speak ill of their leader. Well, BuzzFeed (basically Ellen’s unofficial Human Resources Department at this point) is reporting that they’ve spoken to some past and present Ellen employees, and those employees thought Ellen’s apology was faker than those potted white studio set orchids behind her.
It was touch and go for a second, but the Ellen show returned today for its 18th season (“touch and go” might also be used to describe the alleged work history of three of her former producers). Ellen DeGeneres booked it out of her studio in March, to quarantine at home, but she couldn’t isolate herself from all the allegations that she’s an awful, abusive boss who ran a terrible workplace. After some “will they/won’t they” regarding if the show would come back this fall at all, the 18th season of Ellen premiered today and as promised, Ellen addressed the whole situation.
That dapper frog has such a worried look on its face, but don’t worry frog! Nick Cannon isn’t going anywhere. At least not anywhere as far as FOX is concerned. ViacomCBS is another story, as we already know. But Nick Cannon’s job hosting the televised fever-dream The Masked Singer is safe, regardless of how ViacomCBS responded to Nick’s anti-Semitic podcast comments.
It looks like Ryan Adams’ hair is going to have to keep waiting on the apology it’s owed (“I am very sorry for being so lazy and infrequent with my shampoo use“). But that’s because Ryan Adams decided to issue a more important apology first. Last year, several female musicians – including his ex-wife Mandy Moore – accused him of sexual misconduct and abuse. Ryan recently issued a formal apology to all the women who accused him, adding that this time he’s really, actually sorry.
One demand that has continued to grow in the wake of the police brutality protests and conversations around defunding law enforcement, is to see the police officers connected to Breonna Taylor’s killing be brought to justice. 26-year-old Breonna Taylor was killed on March 13th by officers of the Louisville Metro Police Department, in her own house, and the only thing even remotely justice-adjacent to come out of this situation is the passing of Breonna’s Law, which bans no-knock warrants.
The officers who shot and killed her have yet to be arrested, and that would be why a whole lot of people are shouting, “Justice for Breonna” on various social media platforms. Well, Lili Reinhart, like many celebrities, decided to join in and bring awareness to the situation. Except her attempt involved the questionable decision to flash some sideboob to get everyone’s attention, and she’s really sorry about that now.
In “well, that was quick” news, Ansel Elgort is claiming that he is sowwy for how he has behaved in the past, but that he is absolutely NO predatory abuser (tell that to my eardrums when I had to, yet again, listen to that song of yours).
For those who may have lost track (there were a lot of disgusting pigs accused last week), Ansel was accused by an Instagram user of sexual assault when she was 17 and he was 20. Others also accused Ansel of trying to meet up with them when they were underage. Well, Ansel managed to tear himself away from his bathroom vanity mirror to spit out the usual defense (life is a journey, growth, etc…) BUT, while categorically denying that he’s an abuser, he goes one step further by claiming, with help from his PR team no doubt, that he and his accuser had a perfectly LEGAL and CONSENSUAL relationship, all but suggesting that she’s now speaking out after he ghosted her. And for that, he’s deeply ashamed.