It’s time for the Coco Austin Quarterly Questionable Parenting Pile-On! Here we have a familiar Coco flub; because she’s catching backlash again for a video of her and her 7-year-old daughter Chanel dancing. In this video, it looks like Chanel graduated from her previously eyebrow-raising Tina Belcher Twerk to attempting to hit some TikTok moves and swat her mom’s bounteous, naturally elegant buns. Page Six says that after Coco, 44, posted the video, many in the comment sections deemed it “inappropriate.” In Chanel’s defense, Coco’s ass is so thicc and all-encompassing, it’s not easy to even swat the general air and not also be smacking Coco’s ass.
An incredibly important video from 1994 was recently unearthed by a TV archivist from Meath, Ireland. Greg Molloy was digitizing some old donated VHS tapes when he stumbled upon a clip of a then-18-year-old Colin Farrell modeling a red thong on an Irish daytime show. The Irish Sun released stills from Colin’s long-forgotten appearance last April, but it wasn’t until last week that we got the full video in all its glory. I can safely say that this is the most exciting historical discovery since archaeologists found King Tut’s tomb one-hundred years ago. A win for historians and horndogs alike! Continue reading
Jennifer Lopez’s new documentary, Halftime, was released today on Netflix. So far, Halftime has made headlines for a scene where JLo gets emotional over her Oscar snub for Hustlers, and another where she says that sharing the stage with Shakira for the 2020 Super Bowl was “the worst idea in the world.” Now, the attention has gone to her ass. In the doc, JLo reflects on the sexist media coverage she received in the late nineties and early 2000s. She says the talk about her big butt and relationship with Ben Affleck made her feel like “a joke,” and that it made her almost quit show business. I don’t want to live in a world where JLo quit in the early aughts! In that timeline, we wouldn’t have the supremely underrated 2005 horn-heavy R&B jam, “Get Right”!
Jimmy Fallon must be the only person in the known universe who isn’t familiar with current-day Madonna. Because when Jimmy brought Madonna out onto the stage of The Tonight Show last night to promote her new Madame X documentary, his face was like a guide to the Kubler-Ross model for the five stages of grief, except it was the six stages of disbelief. Shocked, Scandalized, Horrified, Appalled, Outraged, and whatever word you’d use for the panicky feeling a late-night talk show host gets when they really want to cut to commercial. And we hadn’t even gotten to her double-stuffed butt cheeks yet!
There’s always been one Chris glaringly missing from the Great Chris conversation and that’s 60-year-old Christopher Meloni, but I think it’s because he’s so hot it’s not fair to Chris Hemsworth‘s arms. Also, he sometimes goes by the full “Christopher” because he’s Zaddy-style–and he knows it. Christopher “Ass That Physically Cannot Quit” Meloni talked about it with Interview magazine and there was an accompanying photoshoot so thirst-quenching of the gays that Nick Jonas must be absolutely screeching somewhere in rage for not coming up with it first.
Hilary Duff and Matthew Koma got married last year after she gave birth to their first child (her second) in 2018. It’s also Hilary’s second marriage after her first to Canadian rich-kid/hockey player Mike Comrie ended after three years. She and Matthew have dated since like 2015-ish and it looks like they’ve made things 100% official now. I’m not talking about the marriage, this is a step beyond that–anyone can get out of a marriage (well not Brangelina…) but do you know how painful it is to laser off an ass tattoo? Here’s hoping Matthew and Hilary stay together or his next girlfriend is also named Hilary, because his ass has literally and officially been branded with a tattoo of her name. Hilary owns his ass now!