Category: Sofia Vergara
Sofia Vergara Is Trying Once Again To Keep Nick Loeb Away From Their Embryos
The battle between Sofia Vergara and her ex Nick Loeb over their frozen embryos has been going on so long that their embryos are probably covered in two-inches of freezer burn at this point. I honestly have no idea how freezing embryos works, and that’s “probably” not what happens. All I really know is that it sounds like Sofia might have found a way to finally end their fight.
Kate Hudson Went With Both Visible Underboob And Visible Underwear At The SAG Awards
Because why decide on just one when you can help yourself to both? Kate Hudson wanted it all: underboob, underwear, sequined black censor bars, a giant flower putting another flower in a choke-hold, fancy little capes for her shoulders. Kate pulled up to fashion’s drive-thru speaker and ordered everything on the menu.
Razzie nominee Kate Hudson was at the SAG Awards last night as a presenter, which might be why she went red carpet casual by wearing a Dior dress with boxers underneath. If she tries to conceal her underwear by pulling her dress up higher, she’s gonna flash a whole lot of nipple. If she tries to cover up her underboob by pulling her top down a little, she’s going to show tons of underwear. Ha, listen to me – acting like Goldie’s thirsty daughter would ever be concerned with covering up an underboob situation.
Hints of glittery titty was a bit of a theme last night.
Blake Lively Went With The “Raggedy Cruise Ship Dancer” Look For The People’s Choice Awards
If the Oscars and the Emmys are your fancy old uncle who drinks expensive scotch and loves British shows on PBS, then the People’s Choice Awards are your aunt who drinks canned Bay Breezes and asks if you wanna get high in her LeBaron. The People’s Choice Awards are for the people, damn it, and they don’t need prestige or class or gowns that requires every inch of your intestines to be crammed into Spanx.
Blake Lively clearly knows this and after going full-fashion at the Golden Globes two weeks ago, she wore one of Britney Spears’ rejects to the People’s Choice Awards. It’s like she couldn’t find her glasses and just assumed the dress code on the PCA invitation said: “Come dressed as a dancer from a Bob Mackie-inspired cruise ship show who is trying to get fired.” She looks like the messiest pledge at a sorority for ravens.
Some people still don’t understand that you don’t have to try so hard at the People’s Choice Awards. Jennifer Lopez, I’m looking at you.
Lawyers Are Trying To Move Nick Loeb And Sofia Vergara’s Frozen Embryos To The Embryo Safe Haven Of Louisiana
The fucked-up fight between Nick Loeb and his ex Sofia Vergara over their two frozen embryos may go on the road and move from California to Louisiana. Great, you know some coked-up Hollywood executive is going to read this story and get ideas about a zany CGI road trip comedy about two frozen embryos driving across the country to escape death. Strangely enough, Sofia will probably be offered the role of one of the frozen embryos.
Nick Loeb’s Embryos Lawsuit Against Sofia Vergara Just Got Even More Messed Up
It’s been a quick minute since I posted about the legal fight for Nick Loeb and Sofia Vergara’s frozen embryos, so let’s catch up real quick. When Nick and Sofia were together, they embryos and those embryos were frozen. But then they broke up, and Sofia went on to screw her now-husband Joe ManJello and Nick went on try to screw her in court. Nick sued for custody of the frozen embryos and he mouth shit out a diarrhea stream of bullshit about how he’s pro-life and just can’t leave his “children” in a freezer. Nick cried that he’s always wanted to be a father. Sofia doesn’t want that and wants the embryos to remain frozen forever.
Since then, Sofia’s legal team put on their rubber gloves and decided to get as messy as Nick has. Sofia demanded that Nick publicly give up the names of the two ex-girlfriends who had abortions around 20 years ago. Sofia’s lawyers wanted to depose the women and question them about Nick’s past sex life and abortion beliefs. A judge in California sided with Sofia. Nick refused to spit up those names and Page Six says that instead of naming his exes, he dropped his lawsuit against Sofia in California on Tuesday. But it’s far from over and in fact, this shit has climbed to a level of fuckery I didn’t think existed. Sofia and Nick’s embryos are suing her. I see that 2016 still has a napkin tied around its neck, because it’s obviously not done with eating us alive.
Now We Know Where The Sheets To Anna Chlumsky’s Bed In A Bag Look Went
When Anna Chlumsky came strolling up the red carpet of the Emmys last night in an ensemble Michael accurately described as looking very bed in a bag, I knew it was only a matter of time before someone in a set of deluxe full/queen sheets sashayed behind her. And that person was Kristen Bell. To be honest, I don’t know who hit the red carpet first, Kristen or Anna. It’s a real “Which came first, the sheets or the duvet” situation.
Regardless, Kristen is doing just as much for me as Anna’s look was. Maybe more, actually, because I’ve always loved a printed bed sheet. I don’t know if everyone did this, but when I was a kid, I used to make my bed with my sheets pattern-side-down. That way, when I made my bed and pulled back my comforter, you got a subtle hint of my elegant bed linens (ie. my Little Mermaid sheets). I felt so classy, like “I bet this is how Margo from Punky Brewster does her bed.” But while I love Kristen’s expensive floral sheet dress, I don’t know if many of us would want to sleep on it. I think I see beading, and I’m pretty sure none of us would want to roll over in the middle of the night and land cheek-first on a cluster of sharp glass beads.
Of course, the cherry on top of a formal bedding situation has got to be the useless satin runner that lives at the foot of the bed. Luckily, Sarah Hyland has got us covered.