Finally, after putting Sofia Vergara through years and years of legal (and I’m sure emotional) turmoil over a couple of people-flavored ice cubes, a judge in Louisiana has dismissed Nick Loeb’s frozen embryo custody claims. The judge ruled in favor of Sofia who claimed that her ex-fiance Nick wouldn’t recognize a crawfish if it was living down the front of his pants because he never actually lived in Louisiana. Nick claimed to have moved there so that the frozen embryos he and Sofia made while they were together could live under the protection of Louisiana law, which probably would have let Emma and Isabella (yes, he named them) vote in the 2020 election if they could prove they wouldn’t melt into sludge the minute they got popped out of the ice tray.
Nick Loeb claims to live in Plaquemines Parish, Louisiana, a state where frozen embryos are given the same rights as fully formed human beings. Nick allegedly moved there so that his “babies” (whom he named Emma and Isabella) would be protected from his ex-fiance Sofia Vergara, who doesn’t want him to use the embryos they made together. They broke up over 3 years ago and she’s moved on. He will not. And they’ve been embroiled in a lawsuit over those popsicles ever since. Now, according to TMZ, Sofia has petitioned a judge to compel Nick to show proof that he’s actually living in Louisiana and developing a regional accent.
Well, there’s at least one ray of light in the ongoing battle for Sofia Vergara and Nick Loeb’s frozen embryos. According to “sources” close to Sofia, Nick is still holding on to those frost-bitten “babies” in an attempt to break up her marriage with Joe Manganiello, which means if he’s successful, my chances of going to the bone zone with Joe go from 1/10000000.1 to 1/10000000.01. So, slightly better!
Sofia Vergara’s slimy ex Nick Loeb recently moved to Louisiana in what was a blatant attempt to convince the mostly pro-life state to hand over the frozen embryos he’s been chasing for over three years now. But he can’t possibly be spending all his free time trying to get his frozen embryos Emma and Isabelle. As it turns out, he’s been killing time putting the $ in $hameless by making an anti-abortion movie in Louisiana.
When we last left Nick Loeb and Sofia Vergara’s battle for their frozen embryos (named Emma and Isabelle by him), he was trying to increase his chances by moving their fight from California to the much more pro-life state of Louisiana. Nick had also claimed that a trust was set up in Louisiana in Emma and Isabelle’s name, and that they were being cheated out of that money unless he could find a surrogate and turn them into humans. Louisiana, on the other hand, saw right through Nick’s plan and told him the embryos clearly had no ties to the state, and told him to pound sand. Nick was well within his rights to re-file his lawsuit against Sofia, which he did in March, but he took it one step further.
That’s not her ex, but it ain’t far off. The oddest combination of gold digger/faux pro-lifer/aspiring geneticist, Onion Crunch tycoon Nick Loeb, has been trying to nab custody of frozen pre-embryos “Emma” and “Isabelle” (yes, eggs are named now) since his split from the Joe Manganiello-blessed Sofia Vergara. Well, Nick’s attempt at suing her for custody in the pro-life skewing state of Louisiana has failed; he was recently told to legally fuck off by a Louisiana judge.