Category: Piers Fucking Morgan

The Cover, Title, And Release Date Of Prince Harry’s Memoir “Spare” Have Been Revealed

October 27, 2022 / Posted by:

The Doomsday Clock (Big Ben, I assume) for the British Royal Family has been set to toll at the strike of midnight on January 10, 2023. For that is the day when Prince Harry’s memoir, confidently titled Spare, will be unleashed on the world and the secrets buried within those hallowed pages will spew forth and wreak havoc on Harry’s dad, King Charles III et al. melting their faces clean off their skulls like that poor unfortunate souls who dared look at the contents of the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Cause you know Chuckie Trips and his rag-tag crew of minimally employed relations are gonna peek. They won’t be able to help themselves!

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Mickey Rourke Called Tom Cruise “Irrelevant” On “Piers Morgan Uncensored”

July 12, 2022 / Posted by:

New Suppressive Person just dropped! Piers Morgan tried to remake Battlefield Earth in his studio by inviting Mickey Rourke on his show, Piers Morgan Uncensored, where he glibly goaded him into talking shit about Tom Cruise. Mickey, who appears to be coming for Bruce Willisretracted bulk Razzie nomination with 10 dubious-looking IMDB credits in either pre or post-production slated for 2023, told Piers that he thinks Tom is “irrelevant in [his] world.” Considering that Tom’s practically a God in his, this is not the War of the Worlds remake we need right now. But I suppose it’s one we deserve for throwing all our little dollars at Top Gun: Maverik this summer. Mickey also accused Tom of “doing the same f’ing part for 35 years,” and said he wants to be an actor more like “Monty Cliff, or Brando back in the day,” which is encouraging. We might be able to avoid a full-scale intergalactic conflict by gently encouraging Mickey to look in a mirror and telling him what year it is.

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Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Are Reportedly Working On An “At Home” Docuseries For Netflix

May 19, 2022 / Posted by:

Ever since they turned in their resignations to The Firm, it seemed like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were diligently putting the “non-working” in their titles as Non-Working royals. However, according to Page Six, Harry and Meghan have been quietly working behind the scenes shooting footage for an “at-home with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex-style” docuseries for Netflix. Page Six reports that Harry and Meghan were shadowed by a Netflix crew during their trip to New York City last September and sources tell them that cameras have been allowed to film inside of their Montecito home as well. Netflix may have bailed on Pearl, their animated series about “a 12-year-old girl who finds inspiration in a variety of influential women throughout history,” but they would very much like the tour of Meghan’s closet they paid for, like now. Yesterday even.

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Piers Morgan Says That The Original Fergie Texted Him Her Support After He Left “Good Morning Britain”

April 12, 2021 / Posted by:

Don’t worry about Piers Morgan, he’s got friends in high places! Well, sure, maybe Sharon Osbourne got taken down a peg or two after getting fired from The Talk, but he’s also got a real live Duchess on his side! Well, sure it’s the one whose roommate/ex-husband has been implicated in a sex trafficking ring, but Original Fergie is a real Duchess nevertheless. According to The Sun, in his most recent column for the Mail on Sunday Piers wrote that Fergie texted him with words of encouragement following his abrupt exit from Good Morning Britain last month. Sure, makes sense. She’s had her toes sucked publically before, so why not her ass?

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CBS Denies Reports That Sharon Osbourne Received $10 Million To Leave “The Talk”

April 1, 2021 / Posted by:

Won’t you please hold some space in your heart for Sharon Osbourne? She is “bitterly disappointed,” according to Us Weekly. Last week, CBS parted ways with Sharon, the last original host of The Talk, after deciding that her on-air freak-out over her defense of Piers Morgandid not align with [their] values for a respectful workplace.” You would think that the $5 million to $10 million consolation prize that she reportedly received would have sweetened her tea, but the lady’s still bitter. And possibly with good reason. She might not have gotten those millions of sugar cubes after all. According to Yahoo! Business, despite what was previously reported to Page Six, “CBS is completely denying this claim. They say it is untrue.” CBS maintains that Sharon “did this on her own accord.” Poor lady. She must be all puckered up inside.

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“The Talk” Is On Hiatus As CBS Investigates Sharon Osbourne’s Continued State Of Shock

March 15, 2021 / Posted by:

Way back in November of 2020, Kristian wrote that CBS was panicked over ratings for The Talk which was getting pummeled by The View at the time. It was reported that an insider said that if The Talk couldn’t get a big name like Oprah or Meghan Markle, they were done for. Well, I hope whoever said that is enjoying their monkey paw stew because now, thanks to both Oprah and Meghan, The Talk is going on a short hiatus while they investigate their little Sharon Osbourne problem.

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