Britney Spears’ Book Is Allegedly Delayed Due To Legal Concerns Surrounding What She Might Reveal About Some Hollywood Stars
If you’ve been hunkering down underneath your desk in anticipation of Britney Spears’ upcoming “world-shaking” memoir/autobiography/whatever it’s classified as when someone else writes your life story for you, and you get to take credit for it, you can come out of hiding for a bit! It looks like the book’s release might not happen now until the very end of this year at the earliest because of legal concerns surrounding information two unnamed A-listers don’t want revealed. And as usual, when there’s some shiny new carrion below, Ryan Murphy has reportedly swooped in and hopes to work with Britney to create a tell-all show about her years under conservatorship.
Soon, we’ll be able to stop feeling like trainwreck-watching oglers while consuming Britney Spears’ evisceration of her family on Instagram. Instead, we’ll get to fancy ourselves intellectual bibliophiles while perusing Britney Spears’ evisceration of her family in her upcoming mem-wah. Because Britney (and her ghostwriter) have finally scrounged up enough paper to hold the many tales of her eventful time in the spotlight. According to Page Six, the memoir will be out just in time for the holidays and will “shock the world” and become an instant best-seller.
Now that Jamie Spears isn’t able to skim off the top of Britney Spears’ fortune anymore and Kevin Federline is exactly one Popozão away from his and Britney’s sons aging out of their child support, it was time for Jamie and Kevin to frantically secure that bag by any means necessary. And since two dickheads are better than one, they’ve teamed up to “write” a book on fatherhood because Al Bundy and Jack Torrance must be busy.
The Doomsday Clock (Big Ben, I assume) for the British Royal Family has been set to toll at the strike of midnight on January 10, 2023. For that is the day when Prince Harry’s memoir, confidently titled Spare, will be unleashed on the world and the secrets buried within those hallowed pages will spew forth and wreak havoc on Harry’s dad, King Charles III et al. melting their faces clean off their skulls like that poor unfortunate souls who dared look at the contents of the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Cause you know Chuckie Trips and his rag-tag crew of minimally employed relations are gonna peek. They won’t be able to help themselves!
Lindsay Lohan recently spoke with Vanity Fair about turning 30 (which happens tomorrow), and she talked about what the next chapter in her life holds. According to Lindsay Lohan, everyone’s favorite actress-turned-sloppy mess-turned-really sloppy mess-turned-future Mrs. Rich Russian Guy is writing a book. The people in charge of handing out Pulitzer Prizes should probably go ahead and start practicing how to engrave the name “LINDSAY DEE MORGAN (whatever her middle name is) LOHAN“, because they’ll be calling her freckled ass to the podium to collect all the awards sometime in the not-so-distant future.
Us Weekly says that Rizzoli Publishing, the poor unfortunate soul who drew the short straw when it came to deciding who would take one for the team and publish Selfish, recently released more information regarding Kim Kardashian’s book of drowsy porn face selfies, including a description of the book and an “About the Author”.
“About the Author” – HA! As if Pimp Mama Kris hasn’t dedicated her life to making sure we know everything about Kim from the top of her Botoxed forehead down to her Botoxed butt hole. But in the event you’re one of the lucky ones and you have no idea who Kim Kardashian is, allow Rizzoli to tell you all about the “author” of Selfish:
“A new mom to her daughter, North, and happily married to the rapper Kanye West, Kim Kardashian is on top of the world, and this collection of hand-picked images from her personal archive is a tribute to her fans who have supported her through her very highly publicized journey.”
Kanye usually gets the final say in everything Kim does, so I’m shocked that he didn’t call up Rizzoli and tell them he’d write the “About the Author” section himself. Or maybe he did!
“ABOUT THE AUTHOR – SHIT, I SHOULDN’T EVEN HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE AUTHOR! BITCH WAS ON THE COVER OF VOGUE! SHE’S THE MOST FAMOUS FASHION ICON OF ALL TIME! KIM MOTHERFUCKING KARDASHIAN! WIFE OF KANYE! MOTHER OF THAT CONFUSED-LOOKING BABY THAT I NAMED AFTER A DIRECTION!”
Here’s more of the future Margaret Atwood (may god strike me down for ever writing such blasphemy) having lunch with her kurrent husband Kanye this afternoon in New York, as well as looking like a slutty attorney last night.