Today, you can expect every single government to announce that December 8th is an international holiday where we must gather around our televisions and silently take in the instantly important cultural artifact now known as Netflix’s Harry & Meghan. After declaring war on Prince William and Princess Kate by dropping the first trailer for this shit during the Waleses’ Boston tour and cruelly paying all those fans to boo P. Willy and Kate at a Celtics game (that’s EXACTLY what happened!!!!), Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are back in the second trailer for their docuseries, where they continue to go on about why they left life as senior royals. Netflix also confirmed that Volume I (a pretentious way of saying “the first three episodes) will be released this Thursday, December 8th, and Volume II (a pretentious way of saying “the last three episodes”) will be released a week later on December 15th. But not to worry if you don’t have Netflix; you can catch this when it plays at the Smithsonian since that’s exactly where this pivotal piece of history is headed!
In case you didn’t get it from the first trailer, Harry and Meghan’s docuseries gets into how their royal fairy tale turned into a nightmare that forced them to quit being senior royals. Here’s Netflix’s synopsis of the show via People:
According to Netflix, “the series explores the clandestine days of their early courtship and the challenges that led to them feeling forced to step back from their full-time roles in the institution.
“With commentary from friends and family, most of whom have never spoken publicly before about what they witnessed, and historians who discuss the state of the British Commonwealth today and the royal family’s relationship with the press, the series does more than illuminate one couple’s love story, it paints a picture of our world and how we treat each other.”
While Harry’s upcoming memoir Spare is supposed to name which of the Racist Royals asked about Archie’s skin color before he was born, Harry & Meghan seems to echo a lot that has been said before, like how The Firm is in bed with the tabloids, how women who marry into the Royal Family are torn apart, how Meghan didn’t feel protected, and the racist hate she faced. Harry also says in the trailer that he didn’t want history to repeat itself before we’re shown shots of the paparazzi hounding his mom Princess Diana.
Of course, the media and the tabloids have already taken a magnifying glass to the trailers for Harry & Meghan, and are calling them out. During the first trailer, Harry says, “I had to do everything I could to protect my family,” right after a black and white shot of the paparazzi is shown. But it wasn’t a shot of the paparazzi terrorizing Harry and Meghan. Because when it was taken, Meghan was probably chewing baby carrots at the Craft Service Table on the set of Suits. The picture is from a Harry Potter premiere in 2011, five years before Harry and Meghan met.
Paparazzi photo used in Harry and Meghan trailer ‘taken at Harry Potter premiere’ https://t.co/Rknv8eNRba
— The Independent (@Independent) December 5, 2022
And m thoughts and prayers are with Piers Morgan’s housekeepers this week. Because his ass is going to explode all over his floor repeatedly while watching Harry & Meghan. This is his Super Bowl of Hate-Watching!