Category: Orlando Bloom
And In Totally True News, Katy Perry And Orlando Bloom Want Jennifer Aniston To Be Their Child’s Godmother
The Mirror (which means this entire story is 100% true) says that Katy Perry and Jennifer Aniston are like BFFs and have been spending a lot of time together during the coronavirus quarantine (or as Jen calls it, an “oddly beautiful” time) by going on socially distant walks and shit. Well, Katy is about to give birth to her first child, the child she made with Orlando Bloom, and sources say that Jen has already been asked to be their kid’s godmother. Please don’t tell me that Asian Brit, Katy Perry, is going to ask Prince Charles to be the godfather next.
Katy Perry And Orlando Bloom Might Have Hit A Pregnancy Rough Patch
Katy Perry is currently pregnant with her first kid, a little girl, and according to a source who recently spoke to Us Weekly, she’s been going through some “ups and downs.” And they’re not talking about the contents of her stomach (besides, there’s no trimester that could make Katy any more nauseous than she got after reading the reviews of Witness). Us Weekly says that things have been a little touchy between Katy and the reason she’s pregnant, Orlando Bloom.
Katy Perry Wants You To Know That She Is Pregnant With A Girl
During simpler times in early March, Katy Perry dramatically announced in a music video that she and Orlando Bloom are expecting a baby. Katy and Orly recently let us know that she’s having a girl on Instagram and that announcement is 100% less dramatic but 100% more gross. Personally, I miss the days of seeing Orlando’s banana boat roaming free atop the high seas. Now we get updates on their soon-to-be newborn via pictures of daddy wearing too much clothing.
Orlando Bloom Was Celibate For Six Months Before Meeting Katy Perry
Just when you thought that Orlando Bloom, modest Hammaconda owner and shitty tattoo connoisseur, couldn’t be any more of a gentleman, he’s breaking it down even further by letting you know how totally in love he is with fiancée and future mother of his second child, Katy Perry––and how in love he HAS been since the day they first met.
Another Tattoo Mess, This Time From Orlando Bloom
But, unlike Presley Gerber, Amber Rose, and Chris Brown, Orlando Bloom didn’t get a face tattoo (although, I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten “Yes, I know you’ve seen my dick” tattooed on his forehead). And Orlando’s tattoo is sweet. Orlando paid tribute to Flynn, his 9-year-old son with Miranda Kerr, by getting his son’s name tattooed on his arm. Orlando didn’t want to be so blatant by spelling out Flynn’s name in words. So he did it in Morse code. Well, what’s “Ooops!” in Morse code, because Flynn’s name is spelled wrong on Orlando’s arm. NO RAGRETS, I guess.
Prince Charles Named Katy Perry An Ambassador Of British Asian Trust
Katy Perry did geisha cosplay once. She posed next to a boy in a Katy’s Fries costume for a Vogue India spread. And her soon-to-be-second husband is British (AND voices Prince Hot Ginge in Gary Janetti’s Prince George cartoon for HBO Max). So that makes her a bona fide Brit and a person of several Asian descents. Whether or not you TRUST her, I’ll leave that up to you. But besides the trust part, Katy is the perfect ambassador for the British Asian Trust since she’s British and Asian. Insert obligatory “ScarJo is livid” joke here.