Orlando Bloom Got Roasted On Twitter For His Goopy Ways
Essentially harmless (as far as we know) cheese ball (confirmed, also possibly literally has cheesy balls) Orlando Bloom did a “day in the life” interview for The Sunday Times that includes passages like “I like to earn my breakfast so I’ll just have some green powders that I mix with brain octane oil” letting us know we dodged a serious bullet when Orlando hooked back up (and procreated) with Katy Perry instead of Gwyneth Paltrow because could you imagine? And in a separate interview for The Guardian UK subtitled “The actor on stage fright, entitlement and losing his poodle,” Orlando talks about his favorite possession, a Buddhist scroll, and how he and Katy aren’t having enough sex. He’s so very earnest. And it’s nice to know that there’s at least one person in the world who takes him seriously even if that person is himself.
According to The Independent, there’s a lot of people roasting Orlando on Twitter who find it amusing, for example, that Orlando’s spiritual practice includes him unironically “religiously,” chanting for 20 minutes each day before “reading a bit of Buddhism” then posting about it in his Instagram Stories.
Here are some choice excerpts from the interview on Twitter that have people comparing Orlando to American Psycho Patrick Bateman.
This Orlando Bloom interview is hilarious 😂 pic.twitter.com/dMnKqW8W0h
— Chimene Suleyman (@chimenesuleyman) March 21, 2021
😂😂😂😂 jesus wept pic.twitter.com/gR4TbSHXbO
— MWEP (@the_one_Mick_P) March 21, 2021
Wondering why Orlando Bloom was trending and reading this level of cringe has put me right off my brain oil and chants for the day pic.twitter.com/P4ytknUNY5
— James Billingham (@oolon) March 21, 2021
Orlando Bloom’s regime read by an old cockney. pic.twitter.com/Hg6K26WERG
— Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) March 21, 2021
Orlando’s coming through with some big Bless His Heart energy, and I can’t be mad. Trust me, I tried. But it’s not like he’s trying to sell me anything! I additionally found him to be endearing when, in his interview with The Guardian, when asked “What or who is the greatest love of your life?” Orlando listed his dearly departed poodle Mighty before he got to “his fiancee.” Here’s Orlando getting a chest tattoo for Mighty who was taken by coyotes.
As for how often he puts his oar into Katy’s paddleboard, Orlando answered the question “how often do you have sex?” with “Not enough – we just had a baby, though.” I guess previously talking about not having an orgasm for 6 months opens one up to this line of questioning, but that that question is impudent as hell! Am I going to have to go full Chris Crocker in defense of this simple, goofy man? Leave Orlando and his brain octane powder alone!
Pic: Instagram