Chance The Rapper Wants To Know Why Joe Biden Is A Better Presidential Candidate Than Kanye West
Slap me on the ass and call me mother. He’s running. It looks like Chance The Rapper has his sights set on becoming the Mike Pence of the Kanye West administration. Unlike millions of Americans who don’t have the time or mental bandwidth for Kanye’s bullshit right now, Chance is apparently taking his Chicago brethren’s possibly bipolar episode induced declaration of candidacy seriously. Vulture reports that Chance’s bid to become Kanye’s Secretary of Hotepery began when he retweeted a video for Kanye’s latest single Donda (a tribute to Kanye’s late mother) with the statement “And yall out here tryna convince me to vote for Biden. Smfh.” He then posed a series of questions to his followers and asked “can someone explain why Joe Biden would be better??”
*****spoilers ahead*****
Chance’s followers could. However, Chance wasn’t receptive to reason. Which actually makes him uniquely qualified to hold the position of the Clown Prince of Kanye’s Birthday Party. Here’s Chance’s first hot air-filled balloon animal of the day.
And yall out here tryna convince me to vote for Biden. Smfh https://t.co/JgbGBmPQk5
— Chance The Rapper (@chancetherapper) July 13, 2020
Are u more pro biden or anti ye and why? I get that you’ll want to reply that you’re just tryna “get trump out” but in this hypothetical scenario where you’re replacing Trump, can someone explain why Joe Biden would be better??
— Chance The Rapper (@chancetherapper) July 13, 2020
Chance just out here smoking a cigar after having just eaten a greasy pork chop with his bare hands and then filling up a balloon halfway with his porky cigar breath, struggling with shaking DT hands trying to tie it off and handing it to a child all “here kid, it’s a giraffe. Vote Kanye!” Imagine going this hard for a man who’s supposed to be your friend but causes a scene by waltzing into your wedding mid-ceremony with a date, who by all appearances, looks to be a paid escort?
Reparations. Prison Abolition. Universal Basic Housing. Education Reform. Universal Basic Income. There’s more but ion work for folks so ill let him do his job. Just saying we been doing this thing the same way for a long time. Can a blck man get a chance
— Chance The Rapper (@chancetherapper) July 13, 2020
Even after many people tried to help Chance find his oversized novelty suspenders so he could pull his pants back up and stop showing his ass, Chance still wasn’t seeing the light. And so, pants around his ankles and his lips firmly planted on Kanye’s butt cheeks, Chance continued to fail spectacularly at an attempt to make a single solitary coherent argument in favor of a Kanye presidency.
Disappointed with how this poll is looking but def explains everything thats happened so far today
— Chance The Rapper (@chancetherapper) July 13, 2020
Honestly, after what I’ve seen today, at this point we might as well just hold the entire election as a Twitter poll. That is how stupid we look as a nation right now.
Pic: Wenn.com