Chance The Rapper Wants To Know Why Joe Biden Is A Better Presidential Candidate Than Kanye West

July 13, 2020 / Posted by:

Slap me on the ass and call me mother. He’s running. It looks like Chance The Rapper has his sights set on becoming the Mike Pence of the Kanye West administration. Unlike millions of Americans who don’t have the time or mental bandwidth for Kanye’s bullshit right now, Chance is apparently taking his Chicago brethren’s possibly bipolar episode induced declaration of candidacy seriously. Vulture reports that Chance’s bid to become Kanye’s Secretary of Hotepery began when he retweeted a video for Kanye’s latest single Donda (a tribute to Kanye’s late mother) with the statement “And yall out here tryna convince me to vote for Biden. Smfh.” He then posed a series of questions to his followers and asked “can someone explain why Joe Biden would be better??

*****spoilers ahead*****

Chance’s followers could. However, Chance wasn’t receptive to reason. Which actually makes him uniquely qualified to hold the position of the Clown Prince of Kanye’s Birthday Party.  Here’s Chance’s first hot air-filled balloon animal of the day.

Chance just out here smoking a cigar after having just eaten a greasy pork chop with his bare hands and then filling up a balloon halfway with his porky cigar breath, struggling with shaking DT hands trying to tie it off and handing it to a child all “here kid, it’s a giraffe. Vote Kanye!” Imagine going this hard for a man who’s supposed to be your friend but causes a scene by waltzing into your wedding mid-ceremony with a date, who by all appearances, looks to be a paid escort?

Even after many people tried to help Chance find his oversized novelty suspenders so he could pull his pants back up and stop showing his ass, Chance still wasn’t seeing the light. And so, pants around his ankles and his lips firmly planted on Kanye’s butt cheeks, Chance continued to fail spectacularly at an attempt to make a single solitary coherent argument in favor of a Kanye presidency.

Honestly, after what I’ve seen today, at this point we might as well just hold the entire election as a Twitter poll. That is how stupid we look as a nation right now.


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