Just when you thought the weighted blanket covered in dogshit that is 2020 couldn’t get any heavier, in comes Kanye West, the living, breathing embodiment of humility and grace to announce that he is running for President––just a few months before voting is set to take place. Oh yes, this is totally not a ploy to get his best friend Donald Trump re-elected. But when are we going to all find out that we died on January 1st and this is hell?
According to The Hill, Kanye made the announcement––which was sprinkled with some of that Christian bullshit he’s been peddling for the past few years––yesterday, which, of course, was Independence Day. As if America hasn’t been through enough.
We must now realize the promise of America by trusting God, unifying our vision and building our future. I am running for president of the United States 🇺🇸! #2020VISION
— ye (@kanyewest) July 5, 2020
Annnnnd right away, I have questions. At any given time, Kanye doesn’t even know how much money HE has. Or his wife has. How’s he going to balance the budget for the entire country? Is he going to hire the same people who ~allegedly~ fudged his sister-in-law’s tax forms?
Not to be left out of this totally insane narrative, space lunatic and COVID-19 hoaxer Elon Musk is throwing all of his support behind his friend and fellow idiot’s decision. Because anything to make people forget his Epstein ties, I guess!
You have my full support!
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) July 5, 2020
Seriously, if the mental image of Kim and Kanye entertaining Elon and Grimes in the White House, while little North West and whatever that robot kid’s new name is play a spirited game of whose daddy is more insane under a portrait of Eleanor Fucking Roosevelt doesn’t make you want to laugh until you cry…I swear I’m beginning to lose my mind the more I write about this.
Since the battle between
good vs. evil Democrat vs. Republican is already in full swing, Kanye is going to have to run as an Independent (which, if you know anything about American politics, basically means you will absolutely never win––this is literally somebody throwing millions of dollars down the drain just to see how many people like him). Also, it’s too late for Kanye to get on the ballot in some states. And as someone who loves seeing Forbes constantly swat down billionaire-status claims by members of this deranged family, I say let Kanye dump all of his bank accounts into this vanity bid.
And because First Lady Kim Kardashian sounds about as idiotic as President Kanye, Kim herself had to weigh in. Yes, the fame whore who apparently can’t stand being in the same house as her husband is all for this totally sensible business decision. Mind you, in her response to Kanye’s tweet, she put in about as much effort as a Kardashian can without a camera around to capture it:
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) July 5, 2020
Kanye seems to shit up an empty bid for the presidency every few years, but well, if he actually makes it into a debate, his ego and Trump’s ego will combust as they debate on which one of them is more powerful and influential than God.