Category: Kanye 2020

Kanye West’s Campaign Was A $13.2 Million Waste Of Money

February 26, 2021 / Posted by:

Kanye West is currently in the middle of a divorce from his wife Kim Kardashian who finally filed for divorce after months of writing on the wall. And rumor has it a part of their ultimate end was related to him running for President of the United States (as well as Twitter rants). He must really have wanted to stick it to Joe Biden because the final Federal Election Commission report shows that of the $13.2 million wasted on this shitshow, $12 million came from Kanye himself. Blowing through millions of dollars on a bullshit election campaign? That is unacceptable in the Koven! Millions can be spent on filler, luxury cars, birthday vacations, and Birkins only!

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Kanye West Concedes The 2020 Presidential Election

November 4, 2020 / Posted by:

Kanye West’s historic bid for the White House is over. Despite a respectable showing, earning as much as .4% of the vote in some states, it seems America isn’t ready for its first Uber Clown President. Though we’ve had many conventional clowns in the Oval Office before, Kanye would have been our country’s first natural-born clown president who went on to also train as, and dress as, a conventional clown. The Birthday Party Clown community is reportedly devastated by this loss. However, Kanye seems to have taken it in stride as he sets his sights on 2024.

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Kanye West Was Too Busy Running For President To Attend Kim Kardashian’s Private Island 40th Birthday Celebrations

October 27, 2020 / Posted by:

Feeling despondent, angry, or depressed in the face of #thesetryingtimes? Well don’t worry, future first lady hopeful Kim Kardashian West understands. She’s just as in touch with the plight of the average American as her husband, presidential candidate Kanye West. Kim recently celebrated her 40th birthday, but since things are tough all over, she kept it simple with a low-key affair which involved flying her “closest inner circle” (which apparently does not include her husband) to a private island where they “danced, rode bikes, swam near whales, kayaked, watched a movie on the beach and so much more.” And lest you forget that Kim is a woman of the people, nay THE woman of the people (if Kanye gets his wish), Kim made sure to remind her fans that she is aware that “for most people, this is something that is so far out of reach right now.” So maybe try not to be so poor and gross anymore, OK? It’s kind of bumming everyone out.

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Kanye West Says He Won’t Release New Music Until Sony And Universal Release Him From His Contract

September 15, 2020 / Posted by:

For those keeping track, Donda: With Child is still undelivered when by this point, Kanye West should already be thinking about getting on a waiting list if he wants it to get into a good preschool. But I get it, Kanye’s been very, very, very busy. Not only is he running a [insert adjective of your choice] presidential campaign, according to a slew of recent tweets, he’s also Moses, Nat Turner, and “the 2nd richest black man in America” who is tirelessly working to free his people. His “people” being exclusive to any other rich Black man in America. So you’ll have to excuse him if his album won’t be out until Sony and Universal release him from his contract and Drake apologizes to him for, I don’t know, being richer than him I guess. Folks, as usual, it’s a mess.

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Rumer Willis And Armie Hammer Were Spotted Together Looking Cozy

September 3, 2020 / Posted by:

Rumor has it that Rumer has it for Armie Hammer. According to Page Six, Rumer Willis was spotted walking armie-in-armie with Armie yesterday in Los Angeles. Fresh off of cosplaying Kim Kardashian for a new ad campaign for Skims, Rumer’s apparently doubling down on her questionable associations by kicking it with a recently separated man who has more dubious opinions than a soccer stadium full of artificial assholes.

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Presidential Hopeful Kanye West Is Making A Push In Arizona And Suing The Ohio Secretary of State

August 27, 2020 / Posted by:

Kanye West’s not giving up without a fight! The AP reports that I’m tired. So very tired. Like every bone in my body is individually smashing that snooze button from dawn to dusk tired. After getting booted off the ballot in Ohio, Kanye decided to sue Ohio Secretary of State, Republican Frank LaRose in protest. He’s also, according to TMZ, launching a full court press in Arizona, no matter the cost, to ensure his name appears on the ballot in that state. Aren’t you tired? This shit be tiring as hell. I think one of my proximal phalanges just gave up and died.

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