Category: The Fuck R. Kelly Bench

R. Kelly Has Been Denied Release From Prison For A Third Time

May 18, 2020 / Posted by:

R. Kelly is currently facing charges in Illinois, New York, and Minnesota over sexual assault, child porn, sex trafficking, and also bribery. And while waiting for Lady Justice to (hopefully) kick his ass into prison for a while, he’s behind bars, waiting for his trials to begin. But like others, R. Kelly’s team has tried to use coronavirus to get him out of prison and into house arrest, but he keeps getting denied. And he was denied again. Take the hint, bitch!

Continue reading

R. Kelly Is STILL Trying To Get Out Of Prison

May 2, 2020 / Posted by:

I know what you’re thinking: Jeez, what is it, asshole day? The world is full of garbage and clearly this weekend, the bags are LEAKING. Speaking of which, R. Kelly is jumping into the fray again. R. Kelly is trying for the 2948th time to get sprung from prison amid fears of contracting the coronavirus. But unlike all of his previous failed attempts, he’s now got proof that he’s a menace to society sitting duck if he is forced to remain locked up.

Continue reading

R. Kelly Was Denied Release From Prison Over Coronavirus

April 22, 2020 / Posted by:

With coronavirus being a particular threat to the health of prison inmates due to the close quarters and sanitary issues, R. Kelly has been worried about catching it himself (“Don’t worry, I ain’t touching your ass” – coronavirus). Sure, he’s tried social distancing but that’s hard to do in a cell block. R. Kelly played the coronavirus card once to try to get out of jail and he was denied. Then he tried again, arguing that corona has actually reached the jail he’s in. That didn’t work either because a judge denied him again.

Continue reading

R. Kelly Owes Almost $2 Million To IRS And Claims That’s Proof He Won’t Flee If Released From Jail

April 20, 2020 / Posted by:

R. Kelly really wants out of jail amid all this coronavirus drama. The “alleged” serial child-predator and sex trafficker tried extremely hard to get released from jail in Chicago where he’s currently awaiting trial. Jails are a very bad place to be during a global pandemic, so R. Kelly tried twice to get released into home confinement like some other criminals we know. He’s filed another request to be released from jail. This time he’s arguing that he owes so much money to the government that there’s no way he’ll flee.

Continue reading

R. Kelly Has Once Again Asked To Be Released From Jail Because Of Coronavirus

April 17, 2020 / Posted by:

R. Kelly wants the Tekashi 6ix9ine special!

R. Kelly has once again asked to be released from jail over fears that he’ll catch coronavirus. He is currently awaiting trial to face many gross charges for sex trafficking, underage sex, etc. He’s been charged in New York, Illinois, and also Minnesota. He’s in a Chicago jail cell right now, and last month, his lawyers requested for him to be released into home confinement, because he knew that his social distancing efforts would probably prove ineffective. U.S. District Judge Anne Donnelly denied that request. But his lawyers decided to try again and yesterday filed an emergency request for his release. He spent all that time in a closet but now he’s getting stir crazy?

Continue reading

R. Kelly Is Trying To Use COVID-19 To Get Out Of Jail

March 27, 2020 / Posted by:

R. Kelly has been in jail in Chicago ever since he was arrested last year on child porn and sex trafficking charges. (R. Kelly is also facing charges in New York and Minnesota). A bail bond angel didn’t get him out of jail this time. But enter a new angel: coronavirus. R. Kelly is now trying to get out of jail using the coronavirus card. R. Kelly teased this move when his lawyer let us know he was practicing social distancing in jail.

Continue reading

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >