And in some shocking news, this is the first time that R. Kelly has been served a prison beatdown, that we know of. And no, he didn’t even get that fucked up.
R. Kelly is currently living at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Chicago while waiting to face several child sex abuse charges (not to be confused with the charges he’s also facing in Minnesota and New York), and TMZ says that today, one inmate decided to beat the piss out of him. And no, the inmate didn’t punch R. Kelly up because he’s an alleged child rapist. The inmate beat R. Kelly’s ass because the prison had to go into a lockdown a couple of times over pro-R. Kelly protests happening outside of the prison. Yes, we’re living in a world and a time when there’s a group of people who actually think that a good way to spend their time is to protest for the release of fucking R. Kelly.
Since Robert Sylvester Kelly can’t read the news, I hope somebody at Chicago Metropolitan Correctional Center broke it to him quite rudely that three of his alleged friends/associates/sycophants have been arrested for allegedly trying to “harass, intimidate and bribe the alleged victims of R&B singer R. Kelly, who faces charges there [New York] and in Chicago.” According to the Chicago Sun-Times, a federal court in Brooklyn has charged Richard Arline Jr., Donnell Russell, and Michael Williams, with three different schemes involving alleged victims of Robert. The “nice one” (emphasis mine) allegedly tried to bribe a woman to not cooperate with feds, and the other two allegedly took more punitive approaches using blackmail and intimidation. That’s a helluva limb to out on for a friend. Joke’s on them, though. They won’t be receiving any thank you cards signed with one shaky backward “R”. Robert says he didn’t have anything to do with it. First the alleged rapes, sex trafficking and child pornography and now we find out he’s a shitty friend too? Robert really is the worst.
R. Kelly is currently facing charges in Illinois, New York, and Minnesota over sexual assault, child porn, sex trafficking, and also bribery. And while waiting for Lady Justice to (hopefully) kick his ass into prison for a while, he’s behind bars, waiting for his trials to begin. But like others, R. Kelly’s team has tried to use coronavirus to get him out of prison and into house arrest, but he keeps getting denied. And he was denied again. Take the hint, bitch!
I know what you’re thinking: Jeez, what is it, asshole day? The world is full of garbage and clearly this weekend, the bags are LEAKING. Speaking of which, R. Kelly is jumping into the fray again. R. Kelly is trying for the 2948th time to get sprung from prison amid fears of contracting the coronavirus. But unlike all of his previous failed attempts, he’s now got proof that he’s a menace to society sitting duck if he is forced to remain locked up.
With coronavirus being a particular threat to the health of prison inmates due to the close quarters and sanitary issues, R. Kelly has been worried about catching it himself (“Don’t worry, I ain’t touching your ass” – coronavirus). Sure, he’s tried social distancing but that’s hard to do in a cell block. R. Kelly played the coronavirus card once to try to get out of jail and he was denied. Then he tried again, arguing that corona has actually reached the jail he’s in. That didn’t work either because a judge denied him again.
R. Kelly really wants out of jail amid all this coronavirus drama. The “alleged” serial child-predator and sex trafficker tried extremely hard to get released from jail in Chicago where he’s currently awaiting trial. Jails are a very bad place to be during a global pandemic, so R. Kelly tried twice to get released into home confinement like some other criminals we know. He’s filed another request to be released from jail. This time he’s arguing that he owes so much money to the government that there’s no way he’ll flee.