Lil’ Kim Stomped The House Down At The Blonds’ NY Fashion Week Show Where Paris Hilton Also Appeared
Last night, the fashion designer duo, The Blonds, held their annual New York Fashion Week fashion show, and if you think I’ve used the word “fashion” excessively in this sentence, well that’s just a reflection of how much fashion was on display. Not only were the clothes drenched in “Capital F-Fashion”, one model in particular was face fucking the audience with a 24-karat gold fashion strap-on. And even though she still owes me a ligament, I have to hand it to Lil’ Kim, she absolutely brought it on the runway and closed out the show by spraying everybody with a golden shower of high fashion face, funk and body-ody-ody! Paris Hilton was also there.
I guess that means she knows her now? A couple of months ago, Lil’ Kim didn’t want to answer questions about Nicki Minaj. But hot on the heels of the release of Nicki’s new album Queen, Kim decided to talk about their feud and she kept the shade subdued and gentle.
Even though my brother lives there, I tell myself the state of New Jersey is populated only by the Real Housewives and some extras who show up to Kim D.’s Posh fashion show each season (“Fuck you.” – everyone who lives in New Jersey). Well, I guess Lil’ Kim is there, too, but in Real Housewives fashion, she was battling the threat of foreclosure on the mansion she’s struggling to pay for. Kim has managed to save it…but she’s walking on one narrow-ass line to keep it.
The Blast says a judge is giving Kim a second and final chance at having a roof over her head, and if she fucks this up, Nicki Minaj will perform her greatest hits album on the front lawn when the repo man comes and takes the house away. Kidding, kidding…Nicki is too busy making sure Cardi B doesn’t show up on her front lawn and do that.
Kim had to file for Chapter 13 bankruptcy with $4 million in debt and nearly $2 million in back taxes. Erm, maybe her friend Paris Hilton can donate some perfume for her to hawk on eBay and settle her issues with Uncle Sam?
The deal with the house payments is Kim has to immediately pay creditors over $32,000 to settle three missed payments. Going forward, she’ll pay a little over $10,000 each month, and if she misses a single payment, the judge will turn her into the little old woman who lived in her pasties, er, shoe.
Mariah Carey may have decent royalty checks from all ‘dem hits. But she really missed her pot of gold by not hopping in a cab to the trademark office to file a patent for “I don’t know her” immediately after pretending she had no damn clue what a Jennifer Lopez was. If there’s a go-to for celebrity shade, it’s pretending like you know some A-lister about as well as you do someone in suburban Boise who has downloaded all your albums eighteen times on Limewire. Andy Cohen and Martha Stewart have employed the IDKH method, and now Lil’ Kim is revving up her Nicki Minaj feud by pretending to have no idea who the voice behind “Anaconda” is. Hiss hiss, you sneaky snake!
Entertainment Tonight’s Katie Krause caught up with Lil’ Kim on Wednesday night at an event, and asked Kim what she thought of the new crop of female rappers like Cardi B and Nicki Minaj. Kim begins to gush about Cardi, but not before she quickly slid in an “…and I don’t know the other one.”
Oooh, that could have almost been a respectable read to singe everyone’s eyebrows off had it not come while Kim was waiting to get into the launch of Paris Hilton’s new line of whatever. Anyway, I’m beginning to think that “I don’t know her” bit is getting a tad stale for my liking. Call me when one of these chicks has the balls to say, “I do know her, and she’s as enjoyable as a hemorrhoid!”
Well, now we know why she was being investigated for robbery. Applause goes to Kimberly Denise Jones for deftly showing up that tired Tori Spelling and her tired amount of unpaid taxes. Representing the East Coast in the war between celebrity tax dodgers, pioneering rap icon Lil’ Kim has applied for bankruptcy, according to The Blast. I think we all know what where her cash went. It went to finance her ongoing performance art piece – “The Many Catlike Countenances Of Lil’ Kim.” Continue reading
Majestrix of the multiverse and future Nala Beyonce did hip-hop legend and recent robbery suspect Lil’ Kim a solid by dressing up as her on Halloween. She posted shots of her costumes on Instagram and on her own website with the caption: “Hip Hop would not be the same without our original Queen B.” Beyonce’s got 107 million followers on IG, which means there’s probably going to be a renewed interest in the Queen Bee! A whole new generation will learn about Kim’s ability to make “a Sprite can“ disappear in her mouth! By the way, that move’s not for amateurs. They had to call the paramedics. I don’t want to talk about it.