Last night, dreams came true for anyone who has ever fought with a friend at a sleepover over who got to sing which part during a bedroom hairbrush duet of “The Boy Is Mine.” Brandy and Monica came together for a record-breaking Verzuz battle. Brandy and Monica covered such hits as, “Baby,” “Almost Doesn’t Count,” “Missing You,” “So Gone,” “Almost Doesn’t Count,” and the self-restrained ho anthem, “The First Night.” But it wasn’t just a song battle over whose discography reigns supreme. For those who are less into the music and more into the drama, well – they covered that too. Except not in the way that some drama-lovers might have been hoping for. No microphones, sound mixers, chairs, or cameras were harmed in the making of this Verzuz battle, because Brandy and Monica have talked it out, and they’re in a better place.
The year is 2019, and there’s a teddy bear in Naughty by Nature. It’s as confusing a notion as it is a sentence to read. But these are the times we are living in. Time to accept that what once was in the past, will be revisiting us in the present (with a collection of random pop culture barnacles from The Time Tube attached), to confuse future generations. So now NBN (pictured above with their new bear Illtown Sluggaz and Redman) has a Kanye West style College Dropout teddy bear in it, and Treach has gone from excoriating his ex-wife Pepa (of Salt-N-Pepa fame) on Instagram, to parading around in bondage gear and issuing confusing handkerchief codes at the 2019 MTV Video Music Awards. Hip hop hooray?
Yesterday was Whitney Houston’s birthday and I celebrated by giving a pitchy performance of So Emotional at karaoke. R&B singer and longtime Brandy rival, Monica, commemorated the day with a sweet post on Instagram. R&B singer and longtime Monica rival, Brandy, also commemorated the day with a heartfelt Instagram post.
But then things got weird.
It was almost 14 years ago when you bought the instrumental CD of “The Boy is Mine” at Sam Goody just so you could sing both parts in your bedroom, and Monica and Brandy’s voices are back together for a new single called “It All Belongs To Me” that will be on both of their new albums. It should’ve been called “The Check is Mine,” because this is not the shit I’ve been waiting 14 years for. Any song that name drops Facebook should be poked all the way to the bottom of the charts.
If I was listening to this boring mess in the car, I would’ve fallen asleep at the wheel, lost control and killed somebody. This sounds like it was written as the theme song for a Tyler Perry movie after the producers scraped their dimes together and realized they can’t afford the rights to “Irreplaceable.” I’m just going to use my imagination to pretend that I never heard this and that Monica and Brandy are still working on a follow-up to “The Boy is Mine” called “You Can Have That Bitch (The Dick Is Trash).”
via The Daily What