Entertainment Weekly says that we do not have to suffer through a reboot of The Simple Life, this time starring Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Obviously someone saw their recent swatting at each other and decided that since The Hills had resurrected for at least another season, maybe they would try it with other scripted messiness from the early-aughts. Enter: Paris Hilton. But don’t worry, she can’t do it because she’s too busy running an “empire.”
Lindsay Lohan is living in Dubai because she’s a fascinating woman who steals children from refugees and skydives like a boss… or something. All of her interviews recently have made her seem like she’s some worldly entrepreneuse and not a teen actress whose career ended almost a decade ago and now hustles to maintain the wealthy lifestyle she’s become accustomed to. Anyway, she was on Australia’s KIIS1065 with hosts Kyle and Jackie O and she briefly got into the only thing she really gets press for these days: her arch-nemesis Paris Hilton.
I just watched the video for Paris Hilton‘s song Best Friend’s Ass and it definitely resembles shit that came out of someone’s ass. It’s a clusterfuck of spastic camera shots, club scenes and women’s rest rooms: so basically it’s like every weekend Paris Hilton has ever had in her life. Oh, but Lindsay Lohan loves the video? Yeah that feud is still a thing, I guess.
Paris Hilton was on Watch What Happens Live! last night, and you know what Andy Cohen’s interview with her gave me, apart from an aneurysm from the amount of times she goes between her sexy, deep voice and slutty baby voice? A lot of nostalgia. Most of the nostalgia came from her falling back on her favorite person to shit talk: her nemesis from high school (at least when I was in high school), Lindsay Lohan. Which is something she’s done a lot in the past.
Open Post: Hosted By Paris Hilton Recreating The Britney Spears Car Photo That Lindsay Lohan “Crashed”
Paris Hilton doesn’t exactly have the range to headline a Las Vegas residency, and she’s too prim and proper (cough) to open a bar and use its train wreck employees for a reality show – that’s for lowlife like her Aunt Kyle Richards’ frenemy Lisa Vanderpump! Instead, she’ll just go back to her own strengths: media whoring! Back in the glory days of being famous for just being a THOT at the Kitson cash register, there was a certain 2006 car ride with Paris, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears that paid for every paparazzi in the parking lot’s mortgage payment for three years. Paris has gone on to say LiLo crashed the car ride (LiLo denies this), so now she recreated the car ride with what it seems like is who she would have wanted to tag along?
It’s already off to the damn races for the 2020 Oscars, and Elton John helped Taron Egerton launch his campaign to become Rami Malek 2.0 last night. Elton always throws a big Oscars bash since it’s his annual big dick contest with Madonna and her own Oscars bash. Taron, who is playing Elton in the upcoming Rocketman, actually sang “Tiny Dancer” at Elton’s party, and El was more than happy to oblige since Madge and Gaga’s publicity stunt couldn’t DARE be the news of the night.