Pam & Tommy is an 8-episode series that Hulu describes as “a comedic limited series on the true story behind the release of the first ever viral video in history — the sex tape of Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee.” It’s filming now and stars Sebastian Stan as Tommy Lee and Lily James as a shockingly accurate Pamela Anderson. Well, not everyone is as excited about Lily’s over-lined lips, razor-thin brows, buxom cleavage, and eyes so smokey you’d think it was an episode of Station 19. Courtney Love, a longtime friend of Pamela’s, took to Facebook to drag the show and Lily for deigning to re-live what for her friend was not exactly the best of times. But hey, she hasn’t seen it yet. Maybe the good television production people at Hulu won’t use a scene in the movie where Sebastian Stan rings a boat horn with his penis… okay, obviously they’re going to do that. AND THEY BETTER!
Somehow Lily James, 32, managed to carve out enough free time from her busy extra-curricular career maybe-humping shady-as-hell married men who may or may not have “arrangements” with their wives, to sport a poofy, tousled wig and get painted up into the hottest glamourpuss of our or any generation, Pamela Anderson.
That wig might come in handy on role-playing nights in the future, so hopefully Lily gets to keep it. In the meantime, it’s slated for its best life perched on top of her head while playing Pamela opposite Sebastian Stan as Tommy Lee for Hulu’s high-class and extremely educational series, Pam and Tommy.
I’m sure Gwyneth Paltrow is pleased to learn that a promising young unknown actor landed the role that will surely change his life. But for others, this casting news is likely causing a whole lot of people to wonder if Hulu is trolling us, or if someone at Hulu needs to check the prescription strength on their glasses. Deadline is reporting that Lily James and Sebastian Stan have been cast as one of the couples that defined early-90s messy marriages, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee for a Hulu series about their relationship including the theft of their notorious nautical honeymoon sex tape.
Shailene Woodley was supposed to be doing a press tour for her latest movie, the partially improvised Endings, Beginnings, but then a weird thing happened where nobody’s allowed to go outside anymore or something? I don’t know, I keep seeing commercials about it. Anyway, apparently it’s a whole thing. So in lieu of a press tour, Shailene did an interview from her house for The New York Times. In the interview Shailene talked about self-isolation, indicated that she’s no longer with Fijian rugby star Ben Vevolva, talked about having been in an open relationship before (and an abusive one), and said that she doesn’t require an intimacy coordinator when it comes to pretend fucking, thank you very much. And who could blame her? Somehow, the person who should be the second hottest kombucha jerk at the Santa Cruz Natural Food Co-Op (sorry, Shailene, Rainbow Electric’s braless perfect C cups are just a little bit perkier), is starring in a movie where she gets to rub her sun-baked muff all over Jamie Dornan and Sebastian Stan. Jennifer Lawrence, look at your life choices. If you had just stopped shaving your armpits, this could have been you!
Jake Gyllenhaal celebrated the opening night of his Broadway play Sea Wall/A Life. According to The New York Times, Sea Wall/A Life is actually a double bill of two separate monologues with Jake tackling the latter, jerking tears and jolting funny bones recounting the birth of a daughter and the death of a father. He probably jerked a few tears from his fans in another way too, by inviting his girlfriend to his opening. Page Six says that “things are heating up” between 38-year-old Jake and 23-year-old French model Jeanne Cadieu. If you’re disappointed in Jake for making basic ass dating choices remember, a French 23 is more like an American 39, so he’s actually dating an older woman!
Never mind earthquakes. California was nearly taken out yesterday by the tsunami of fanboy drool created by Marvel Studios announcing all of their upcoming movie and TV offerings at San Diego Comic-Con. Angelina Jolie sashayed out to get that Marvel money and officially joined the cast of The Eternals. Natalie Portman deigned to make an appearance to announce that she’s going to be the new female Thor. Marvel also exhibited their absolute fearlessness when they revealed that they’ve recast Blade with Oscar winner Mahershala Ali. Their security must be aces because Noxeema Jackson is going to show up with an uzi when she hears that she’s not getting any cash from Marvel anytime soon with which to pay off her outstanding IRS tab.