Gwyneth Paltrow Doesn’t Know Who Sebastian Stan Is

July 5, 2019 / Posted by:

Gwyneth Paltrow is truly spectacular. Thanks to Goop she’s going to live forever and has spoken to the gods and the stars and opened her third, fourth, fifth and sixth eyes–she’s truly legendary both in physical and mental fitness and extreme wealth. So it’s strange, it seems, that her memory seems to not be the sharpest. Or maybe it’s just she’s SO FULL of wisdom that she has to keep her mind open for important facts like: “creativity with your hands is like channeling God,” and not the names of people she’s met and worked with in the past.

That has to be the case, because it seems that Gwyneth has forgotten her Avengers: Endgame co-star and fellow Marvel person, Sebastian Stan, not for the first time, or the second–she’s forgotten him a third time.

E! News reports that Gwyneth and Sebastian attended a Valentino event recently where he posted a picture of them along with a bunch of other fabulous, rich and famous people. In a picture taken at the Valentino Couture Show in Paris, along with other high-class people: Valentino Garavani, Pierpaolo Piccioli, Giancarlo Giammetti, and Lauren Hutton–Sebastian revealed that he had to introduce himself to Miss Gwyneth for the third time:

I mean, it’s not like these two would have met before… except for being one of the richest, most famous people in the acting world by being in the Marvel universe means that you’ve likely been to several Marvel-related events together. I guess when they filmed Avengers: Endgame Gwyneth didn’t hang out with the peasants.

But Sebastian shouldn’t feel called out in particular–Gwyneth doesn’t really have space in her head for anything comic book related it seems; she just makes millions of dollars from them. Here’s a supercut of Gwyneth not knowing who the fuck anyone or anything about Marvel is:

I mean, maybe you should take some more memory classes with your Goopers, Gwyneth? Or maybe you’re just slipping up and you’re getting too comfortable letting us peasants know our place, and it’s not on Gwyneth’s radar. And don’t think that just because you’re rich and famous you aren’t a peasant to the deity that is GP. Oh, you’re a famous celebrity who acts in movies and has millions of dollars and fans? Cool… Do you use jade vagina eggs? No? Dismissed.


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