Only being a casual observer of Taylor Swift’s oeuvre, I have no option but to take her new video for Lavender Haze from the Midnights album at face value. However, according to Elle, “there are ample Easter eggs in it referencing her past, lyrics, and possible future music releases.” And in a way, that much was clear even for someone like me who is more familiar with Taylor’s work as a semi-professional litigant and in Cats. Taylor’s as rich as the day is long, so no matter the cost of eggs in #thesetryngtimes, it’s no wonder she’s been hoarding them for Lavender Haze. Because as far as I can tell, Taylor spends the entirety of the video crop-dusting her lover, herself, and her new Diversity 2.0 posse of pals with her visibly noxious, rotten Easter egg farts. I never want to hear about Taylor not sacrificing her vanity for her art ever again. She nasty!
Here’s The Final Cut Of “Gotta Be You” From “80 For Brady” Feat. Dolly Parton, Cyndi Lauper, Gloria Estefan And Their Kid Sister Belinda Carlisle
Dolly Parton famously wrote I Will Always Love You and Jolene on the same night, so it should be no surprise that she was able to squirt out a dribbly little ditty as a favor to a couple of old friends in less time than it takes her to remove her false eyelashes at the end of the day. When Dolly’s homegirls Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin found themselves in a bind, having agreed to go against God’s Plan by signing up for starring roles in Tom Brady’s mid-post-post-career vanity project, 80 for Brady, alongside Sally Field and Rita Moreno, and needed help, Dolly was right there to lend a hand. And Dolly’s no Rose from Titanic! Her door is as wide as it is strong, and it’s always open to a friend in need. Dolly secured her rings and baubles and such before reaching her hand down into the frigid, inky-black depths of Tom’s ego and pulled her girls to safety. She then got her little orange emergency whistle out and started looking for other innocent souls at risk of drowning in Tom’s insatiable abyss. As dawn arose on that fateful night, Dolly’s door was teeming with refugees from the floating wreckage of Tom’s post-divorce career.
Adele Finally Released The Video For “I Drink Wine” And Said Taylor Swift’s One Of The Greatest Songwriters Of Our Generation
A year ago, all anyone could talk about was Adele’s much anticipated fourth album, 30. “When’s 30 coming out?! It’s been six years since 25! I’m gonna go fucking apeshit if Adele doesn’t give us 30!!!” Adele finally released the album’s first single, “Easy On Me,” and its music video in mid-October 2021. The next month, the full album came out. Soon, the album’s second single, “I Drink Wine” was announced. During an appearance on YouTube’s NikkieTutorials, Adele shared that the song’s music video had been shot and “it’s the campiest thing you’ll ever see.” She even boasted that it would inspire peoples’ 2022 Halloween costumes. But then… nothing. The song “Oh My God” quietly replaced “I Drink Wine” as 30’s second single, and its video was released in January. After that, all the Adele headlines focused on her Las Vegas residency disaster. Cut to today: the official “I Drink Wine” music video arrived! I guess right in time for Halloween? Great, just a few days to find a white bathing suit, a black and gold sequin swim cap, and a glass of vino (OK, that last one’s easy).
Last month we officially changed the D in DListed so it stands for Demi Lovato. She’s been out there talking about her new documentary, album, sexuality, engagement, and haircut. And yesterday we learned she’s maybe-flinging with Noah Cyrus (but probably not)? Her new album, “Dancing with the Devil… the Art of Starting Over” was finally released today and the music video for the single “Dancing with the Devil” dropped at midnight. It’s about Demi’s 2018 relapse and overdose, and the video recreates the near-death event. So lots of smudged eyeliner and hospital rooms. Britney Spears and the other geniuses behind Everytime should sue!
Cardi B is back with a new music video, her first since “WAP”. The single’s called “Up”, and it’s standard Cardi B fare: butts, boobies, bright colors, and the longest nails you’ll see this side of Guinness Book of World Records. The chorus repeats, “if it’s up then it’s stuck.” Surprisingly, the lyrics actually aren’t referring to Offset’s perma-boner (see, he has to keep banging women who aren’t his wife, it’s a medical condition). Nope, the song’s about how Cardi’s rise to the top can’t be stopped. Continue reading
Taylor Swift Released A Video For The Single “Willow” From Her Album “Evermore” Which Touches On Her Feud With Kanye West And Relationship With Tom Hiddleston
Justin Timberlake’s Man of the Woods walked for a couple of steps before it tripped and landed with its ass sticking up out of the flap of its flannel long johns so Taylor Swift’s folklore could run. Which I guess means that folklore ran so evermore could sit pensively in vintage lace and gingham. As promised, Taylor’s 9th studio album dropped last night, along with a video for the single willow, directed by Taylor, in which she takes whimsy outback, beats it to a pulp, stuffs its lifeless body into a burlap sack, drags it to the river, dumps it and then runs and hops into a perfectly distressed 1920s jalopy, drives downstream ahead of the careening corpse, hops out, rushes to the riverbank, grabs the sodden sack, opens it and leans over and breathes new life into the mouth of whimsy which transforms it into a flesh and blood prince charming. SPOILER ALERT: They live happily evermore.