Category: Dolly Parton

Dolly Parton Sleeps With A Beat Face In Case Of Emergency

June 5, 2019 / Posted by:

Does a theme park that smells like BBQ and features a 52-foot fake tree sculpture with “620 acrylic butterflies” glued on and piped in music sound tacky to you? Yes, well good. Dolly Parton wouldn’t have it any other way. Dolly recently paid a visit to Dollywood to commemorate a 6-acre expansion called Wildwood Grove where she performed in a “sequined lilac pantsuit with black piping and matching butterfly wings”. She also used the occasion to bless us with a little interview for the New York Times. I swear, whenever things on earth get too stupid and mean, Dolly can sense it, and alights from stars on butterfly wings to remind us that common decency and common sense still exist in this world.

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A Dolly Parton Lifestyle Brand Is Coming

May 5, 2019 / Posted by:

When the Marie Kondo “get rid of all your shit” revolution happened I didn’t understand why us “specialty collectors” (ok, hoarders) had been commanded to clear space in our houses with such a manic sense of urgency. At the time, the KonMari method felt a bit drastic, but now it all makes sense! Dolly Parton has just signed a deal for a complete lifestyle brand. Hole-E-Shit. Now I know why I was commanded to make room in my closets and cupboards- I needed space to fill up with everything and anything Dolly. Thank you, Marie Kondo! Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By Jennifer Aniston’s Ghost Problem

December 11, 2018 / Posted by:

When I heard Jennifer Aniston was once plagued with an issue of ghosts coming out of the woodwork at her house, I wasn’t completely convinced that wasn’t just Angelina Jolie sending over some of the child army to mess with her and move dishes around. Alas, this case of a live-in poltergeist happened a long time ago when she was a fresh face in Los Angeles and she told the story on The Late Late Show with James Corden. While most of us would have made an immediate stop to In-N-Out, Jen hired a ghost whisperer to see what spirits were around to split rent with her. It sounds like there were plenty.

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Open Post And Site Note: Hosted By One Million Tons Of GLAMOUR!

December 7, 2018 / Posted by:

You’re either wearing the darkest sunglasses you can find or you turned on the speak feature on your browser, because all that double dose of  rhinestone-encrusted beauty definitely temporarily blinded you. It’s been cloudy in Los Angeles and obviously because the sun was like, “Can’t compete. I’m taking the day off!” But a little more on Dolly Squared in a bit…

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Open Post: Hosted By Dolly Parton Confessing Her Husband’s Three-Way Dream With Jennifer Aniston

December 3, 2018 / Posted by:

Dolly Parton is promoting the upcoming Netflix movie Dumplin’, aka The One Where Rachel Plays A Pageant Mom. The soundtrack to Dumplin’ is all Dolly songs, some old and some new, which would be why Dolly swung by The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon on Friday night. Dolly doesn’t even have to try that hard to hustle a movie; technically all she has to do is smile and ask people to watch her lil’ ol movie, and I’m sure we’d all be so charmed into not only streaming it, but on a Netflix account we actually pay for. Dolly has that kind of power! But a legend like Dolly stays that way by telling entertaining stories, like how her husband Carl Thomas Dean has a threesome fantasy involving Jennifer Aniston.

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